


Big Cat {Egobang}

by BloodthirstyMerc



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Big cat, Blow Jobs, Egobang - Freeform, Egoraptor - Freeform, Game Grumps - Freeform, M/M, Sexual Tension, Short Story, Smut, Temporary Amnesia, YouTube, danny sexbang - Freeform, petnames, temporary alzheimers, temporary memory loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-11 02:22:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7022698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodthirstyMerc/pseuds/BloodthirstyMerc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arin suffers from temporary Alzheimer's after being in an accident and can't remember who the curly haired Jew on his grump couch is.</p><p>{My knowledge on temporary Alzheimer's is limited so I hope what I've got isn't too bad</p><p>This was meant to be all kittens and cute fluff and it turned out a bit sad I'm sorry D:}</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. - PART 1 -

_There's been an accident._

(+ x)

Those few words weren't what Danny had expected to hear when Suzy had called him at this strange hour when it's not dark enough to be night but nor could you call it evening. He didn't know what to really expect at all when he saw her name flash up on his phone because she rarely called him ever and if she had to it was never at this hour. Everything for Danny had nearly stopped as Suzy rushed to tell him that Arin had been in an accident and that he was at the hospital and even though the doctors are saying he's going to be okay she was still scared. Danny couldn't blame her. He'd tried to calm her but he wasn't calm himself and when she broke down into small sobs he looked around his room aimlessly like maybe that would help.

As soon as he was off the phone he told Barry what she'd told him and before he could really grasp the whole situation he was in the hospital himself being dragged down various white corridors by the fabric of his jumper sleeve. Ross, Holly and Kevin were already there with Suzy in the waiting room, huddled together and talking quietly. Holly had hold of Suzy, rubbing her arms and kissing the side of her head as she bit into the side of her own finger to try and stop herself from sobbing. Upon Barry and Danny arriving the others pulled them over and relayed what had been said and what was still unclear. Danny could only take in so much and soon enough found himself embracing Suzy as Barry rubbed his back as he himself tried not to cry.

It wasn't serious, god it could have been so much worse than what it was but still he felt like a part of him was dying with the fear of Arin doing just that. But as he came to understand Arin should be fine. What had happened wasn't chaotic and god knows Arin could have been killed if it was worse, but a lot worse that was. He was on his way home after staying back in the grump space a little longer than he normally would to finish off his work and it being a Friday evening, there were people already out drinking. The guy wasn't completely smashed, and maybe if he was Arin wouldn't be here but he was drunk enough to be going a little too fast and not be paying enough attention. Despite his seat belt the crash had Arin's head smacking into his door window enough to crack the glass and for him to black out. On the way to the hospital however he'd woken up. But he couldn't remember where he was headed or why. He knew the date, his name, all the important stuff. At least they thought.

After a while the group are able to compose themselves enough that they're not hysterical or anything close and they all stand around in mostly silence as they wait. Suzy goes back to chewing her finger and Danny fumbles with his sleeves. Holly and Barry comfort the two to the best of their abilities. Ross and Kevin don't move or say anything unless Barry speaks to them and everyone else barely say anything. They just wait. They know Arin's going to be okay because he was okay when he got to the hospital, but there's always that fear that something could go wrong unexpectedly without rhyme or reason and they'd lose him. Danny doesn't know how long they stand there, his mind started to wander and he blanked out of the little conversation that was happening, but it feels like forever, maybe it was, before a nurse comes over to them asking if they were the friends and family of Arin Hanson. It takes Danny a moment to register her words and a few seconds after everyone else has already said that yes, they are, he to is confirming her question.

"He has a slight head wound that we've fixed up for him, nothing too serious. He's just in quiet a bit of pain obviously but we've giving him morphine for that of course. He's very tired but at this point we're keeping him awake." The nurse says it slowly, or maybe Danny is just slow on everything at the moment. He feels empty for reasons he couldn't explain. But Arin was okay, he was going to be fine so there was no need for him to worry, right? "We're going to keep him in for at least a week, maybe two, depending on his recovery rate but I'm sure that he'll be back on his feet and home in no time." She smiles brightly and clasps her hands behind her back.

"Can we see him?" Ross asks sheepishly, like he was afraid she'd shoot down the idea and tell him to get lost or something. It was strange seeing him like this. The nurses smile softens.

"Of course, if you'd like to follow me." She turns on her toes and starts moving back down the corridor in which she came. The group begin to follow after her but Danny's legs feel like they weigh too much. There was still so much fear in his bones. Barry tugs on his jumper and like a dog being told to walk on, he moves forward, letting his housemate guide him, his mind so far away that he doesn't take in the way they go or anything they pass. Arin was okay, he had to keep telling himself that.

The nurse stops outside a door and turns to the group. "Now I'm pretty sure you'll understand that it's best to keep the noise level to a minimum for his sake. Just a reminder I suppose." She pushes the door open and steps to the side to let the group shuffle in. Danny misses the way Suzy moves over to the bed to fuss over her drugged up husband, the witty remark Ross makes about his fat head saving his life and the way Holly jabs him in the rib for saying it. He stays close to the door and just looks over Arin with a sigh of relief because he was okay and he was smiling up at the others as they fussed and cried some more over his sorry ass. Danny didn't miss how Arin's eyes moved over his way but didn't stay on his person, the way that his brow furrowed a bit as he looked at him before he turned his attention back to Barry who was saying something Dan's ears didn't catch.

Danny didn't miss the way Arin never once spoke to him. But then again, he didn't speak to Arin either for the whole time he was there for a reason he didn't know. He stood in the one spot until Barry came over to him and said they should probably go. Only then did Arin look at him again and still, his face was blank. Following their example Kevin, Holly and Ross all decided they should go too, Suzy wanting to stay back just a little longer. They all bid goodnight and waved their goodbyes as they left. Danny still said nothing, but raised his hand in a small wave as he started to turn toward the door. He wished he missed the way Arin frowned his way and didn't wave back.

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuh, I don't have a lot of hospital experience at all so I have no idea how they work or whatever. I also seriously know nothing about memory loss beside the small stuff so sorry. I really hope this doesn't suck the biggest of balls and gets better as I go...


	2. - PART 2 -

Like the nurse had said, they kept Arin in the hospital for almost a week and a half, his recovery not as fast as they had foreseen but not as slow as most. Arin then stayed home for the remainder of the second week, as was to be expected. Danny was busy beyond belief while Arin was absent, doing a lot of work around the office to help everyone out so that when Arin got back it wouldn't be too stressful on him, they hoped. Danny didn't go visit Arin while he was recovering, using up every spare second he had to do whatever he could to make Arin's return easy. He regretted it during the time but when the day came that he knew Arin would be coming back into the space to record he didn't hate himself so much for it because it meant that he would have plenty to talk to him about and that the joy of seeing each other again would be greater.

Danny got to the grump space earlier than he normally would and set about getting himself a tea and some snacks that he'd share with Arin in between recordings or during if they really felt like it. He didn't really care, he was just happy that he was going to be sitting on that couch with the two things he loved most, video games and Arin Hanson.

Barry was set up at his computer doing his normal thing when Arin got in. The editor turned to look over at Arin and smiled wide, waving in greeting. Arin returned both gestures. "Good to have you back man. He's so happy to be recording today, hasn't shut up all morning about being able to hang out with you again. He's missed you so much."

"Fucking happy to be back. I was starting to go crazy not doing anything. I've missed his sorry ass too. Why didn't he visit though?" Arin asked in confusion. He was sure that his co-host would have at least showed up once, even for five minutes just to say hi, even a text would have been good. Not that he was mad, because he wasn't, just confused.

"He was in here the whole time, doing as much work as he could to lower the load on you."

"Best co-host ever. He already here?"

"In the recording room, all set up and everything." Barry stood up, taking his headphones off from around his neck. He picked up a pad and pen and moved over to Arin, holding out the two objects. "You and this are the only things that need to get in a that room and the show can get started."

"Have you ever missed a pen before in your life?" Arin asked, pulling a chuckle from Barry.

"No, I'm guessing you did. Don't get too emotional."

"I might need a moment." Arin motioned to wiping a fake tear away from the corner of his eye. Barry shook his head and returned to his desk.

"Don't keep him waiting." He mumbles, giving one last glance to Arin who saluted him and moved across the room toward the recording area. A smile fixed itself on Barry's face as he turned back to his work, his mind off with Arin. Even he couldn't believe how happy he was to have the man back just in the same room as him. Danny will be over the moon the moment Arin walks in that door.

(+ x)

Danny was in fact over the moon the moment he heard the recording room door click open. He sat up straighter on the couch and turned to face the opening with a smile so big that his face started to hurt only seconds after. God he never knew he could miss this idiot so much.

"Little birdy told me that you've missed me dearly." Arin chirped, closing the door behind him before he even looks up at his co-host.

"I think I missed you too much." Danny replied and he saw how Arin froze. Because Arin didn't know that voice, that wasn't _his_ voice and as soon as he looked up his heart nearly stopped beating because that wasn't _his_ face. Danny saw it all and his smile quickly dissolved into a frown. "Arin?"

Silence. Dead silence so thick that Danny felt like it was tightening around his neck and squeezing the air out of his lungs. He couldn't move, didn't move as he watched so many emotions flash across Arin's face that he couldn't register them all. Arin just stared and if the room had even the slightest sound in it maybe Danny wouldn't have heard him breathing and therefore might have thought that he actually wasn't.

"You're the guy from the hospital." Arin managed to get out and Danny's heart felt like it was being squeezed like his lungs had moments ago. What the hell was Arin on?

"Arin, are you okay?" He asks, a laugh falling from his restricted chest as bewilderment floods him.

"Who are you- what are you doing in my office?" Arin asks in a fierce tone, defensive, threatening. Danny's mouth falls open slightly, words escaping him. What kind of sick joke was Arin playing at?

"Dude, what the hell?" He asks, and he's not trying to sound rude in the way he says it but he can't help but feel a little hurt by the way Arin's acting. This isn't payback for him not visiting is it? Because this is an overreaction if he ever saw one.

"Where's Jon?" Arin asked and Danny nearly chocked on his spit. What was he talking about?

"Arin seriously, whatever joke you're playing at it's not funny. Okay man look I'm sorry I didn't visit but I just thought-"

"What the fuck, shut up. Look I don't know who you are or what _you're_ playing at but if you don't start explaining you're gonna be up to your eyes in trouble." Arin spits and Danny's chest feels like it could explode.

"What do you mean you don't know me? I'm your best fucking friend."

More silence.

"It's me, Danny!" He shouts in frustration and the pressure in his chest releases as tears fill his eyes. Arin just stares like the man before him was alien or speaking an alien language that he couldn't hear. Danny didn't know what to do.

"Are... are you one of the guys friends or something?" Arin asks slowly. Being stabbed in the heart would hurt less than whatever was happening to Danny right now.

"I'm _your_ friend... right?"

Nothing. Not from Arin anyway. A knock sounded at the door and they both jumped. Danny tried wiping at his eyes but there was no way that he was going to be able to hide the fact that he was crying. Arin yanked open the door, revealing a very confused looking Barry.

"Is everything alight?" He asked cautiously.

"Where's Jon? And who's this guy? Is he your mate or something? Why is he in here?" Arin asked in a spew of noise. Danny nearly cried out in utter frustration. Barry looked back and forth between the two.

"It's Danny?"

"Yeah so I heard, why is he here?" Arin asked with raising frustration. Danny looked up at Barry with desperation. What was he meant to do? Arin had no clue who the fuck he was. Barry just looked back at him, unsure himself. He focuses back on Arin and tries to think of what to do. The only thing rolling around in his head was Arin's idea of Jon being around.

"Arin..." He raises his hands to the side of his head like he was trying to force the image into his mind of the situation, like maybe it'd help him see what was going on in Arin's head. "Jon... he quit, ages ago. Danny... you hired him to take his spot on the show."

Arin blinks at Barry slowly before he looks back over to the weeping man on his couch with confusion etched so deep in his features that it makes Danny feel like crying harder. How could Arin just not know who he was after _everything_? "No I didn't." Arin mutters turning back to Barry. "Jon quit?"

Danny broke down and Barry hastily told Arin to call Suzy and tell her to come in as he ushered the confused man out of the room before closing the door and moving over to attempt to comfort his train-wreak of a friend.

(+ x)

When Suzy arrived the grump space was a little hectic, to say the least. When Arin had called and said she needed to come down she naturally asked why. His response had been very vague; 'Barry asked'. Suzy hadn't expected to find Danny sobbing slow and broken sentences to her husband as Barry watched on like he had no idea what was going on. She hadn't expected Arin to be staring back at Danny with an empty frown. The moment they noticed she was there Danny had new tears trying to escape his eyes and Arin was asking what was going on.

"I could ask the same thing." She pauses and moves closer, reaching out to Danny to try and calm him down and stop him from sobbing. "What happened?"

"I don't know he started crying basically as soon as he saw me." Arin mutters and Suzy gives him a shocked look at how monotone and unconcerned his voice was.

"Arin doesn't know who he is." Barry sighs, running his hand through his hair. He wanted her here because he thought maybe she could help but now that he thinks about it, he doubts she could. Her eyes widen as she looks his way.

"What do you mean?" She turns to look to Arin for an explanation as she pulls Danny into her smaller body, trying and failing to at least comfort the distraught man.

Arin just shrugs his shoulders. "What? I've never seen this guy before."

"Arin Hanson this isn't a joke. Why would you even think of hurting him like this?" Suzy hisses accusing and Arin just stares at her hopelessly.

"I-I'm not trying to hurt anyone, you know I wouldn't Suze. But I have no idea who this guy is, honestly. I don't know him!" Arin starts to stress, Suzy can see it clouding his eyes and now she's torn because she believes him, can tell he's not lying by the tone of his voice but at the same time she can't believe that somehow it's true, that he's forgotten Danny. A thought comes to her mind and she turns back to Danny.

"Okay maybe you should go with Barry to the other room for a moment, I just wanna ask Arin some things, please." She looks over to Barry who steps in quickly and wraps an arm around Danny's lanky shoulders. Suzy places a quick kiss to the side of Danny's head, mumbling that it'll be okay before the two walk out the room, Danny's body still shaking from his outburst of sobs earlier. She turns back to Arin who looks so lost that she's conflicted.

"Okay hun, I don't know what's going on but I'm going to just ask you some yes or no questions okay?" She pauses and waits. He nods.

"Do you know who Ninja Sex Party are?" A shake.

"Starbomb?" A pause before another shake.

"You're in Starbomb." Suzy wheezes, not because she wanted to tell him but because she can't believe that he doesn't know.

"I-... What is it?" Arin awkwardly asks and Suzy has to will every fibre in her body to calm down.

"Your band, with Danny and Brian. You know who Brian is?"

"Wecht? Of course, how could I not?"

"How could you _not_ know Danny!" Suzy shoots back and she isn't asking she's just frustrated and worried sick. Arin doesn't have a response to that.

"I'm in a band?" He asks slowly and Suzy can feels herself starting to get worked up to the point of tears. No wonder Danny was such a mess. She had more questions, but she couldn't ask them. Instead she decided maybe a professional should handle the situation.

"I think we need to go back." She mumbles before slowly moving past Arin to get Danny and Barry. He doesn't move from his spot like he has no idea what to do with himself. Suzy moves out the room and over to a reasonably calm Barry and an exhausted looking, tear stained Danny. The sight of him makes her heart ache.

"I'm taking him back to the hospital, maybe they know what to do." She mumbles, playing with the ends of her hair. Danny swallows thickly and snuffles.

"Do you think this is a result of the accident?" He asks weakly and Suzy's shoulders fall slightly. She hadn't even thought of that.

"Maybe. Do you want to come with or," she pauses but her sentence goes unfinished. Barry sighs and looks around the office at all the work that needs to be done, he'll feel bad if he leaves it all to Ross and Kevin when they get in, which shouldn't be that long. Danny nods and gets up on weak legs.

"I'll stay back, just keep me updated okay?" Barry pats Danny's back lightly.

"Course." He responds. Suzy turns and moves back to the other room with a nervous Danny on her heels. Barry hangs his head in his hands and lets his frustration out in a broken sound.

(+ x)

The drive to the hospital is silent and once the get there only Suzy does the talking, trying to explain the situation as best she can. They're lead to a waiting room and they sit and say nothing. Danny watches Arin through the corner of his red rimmed eyes as the younger man sits nervously, his posture rigid and fidgety as he bites into his own thumb. Suzy tries comforting the pair as she sits between them, one hand clasping Arin's in a too-tight grip and the other running slow circles on Danny's back as he stays hunched in his seat.

A doctor comes out asks for Arin and leads him down the many white corridors. Danny sighs and covers his face with his hands once Arin's out of sight. Suzy turns her full attention to rubbing his back for a few minutes but soon enough she's zoning out, her movements slowing as she goes on auto pilot and her thoughts chase after Arin. Danny runs through it all in his head again and nearly works himself up to tears again. Why couldn't Arin remember him?

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This got so much sadder than intended sorry about that


	3. - PART 3 -

After what feels like a lifetime a nurse comes out into the waiting room and asks the two to follow her to the doctors office. The pair go silently and awkwardly move into the room and take the seats on either side of Arin. He looks over to Danny with an empty look in his eyes and a sorry expression on his lips. Danny just stares back hopefully.

"There's not much good news to this." The doctor starts before correcting himself. "Well there is but its not overly great. Due to his recent accident, Arin is suffering from temporary Alzheimer's. Now it's temporary but that doesn't mean it won't become worse." The doctor pauses to let that set in for a moment. Danny doesn't look away from Arin and Arin doesn't stop worrying his lip between his teeth as he looks back at the curly haired stranger beside him.

"In order to find out how bad it is, I'm going to need some help from you. Now he remembers his name, birthday, the date today, parents, hometown all that. But I want you to help me find out what he's lost." The doctor gestures for them to take the wheel and for a long pause the room is dead silent, and the air feels like it weighs tonnes. Danny's mouth falls open to speak but it takes a moment before the words follow the action.

"Who's on the grump team?" He asks slowly and he watches as the doctor scribbles down words. Arin continues to just stare for a moment before he turns to the doctor.

"Myself, Jon, Barry, Ross, Kevin, sometimes Brian, Holly and Suzy?" He says it like he's unsure like he needed confirmation. Suzy's shoulders sag and she turns her gaze away from her husband. Danny finally looks toward the doctor but not actually at the man. He just can't look at Arin anymore.

"Jon quit nearly three years ago. You hired me not long after he had. But we were friends before I joined." He bites back more of his useless tears. The doctor continues to scribble down notes.

"How is it you remember Kevin and Brain but not Danny?" Suzy asks, looking over to Arin like he had the answers. She couldn't put it together.

"Does he spend a lot of time with you?" The doctor asks and Danny nods quickly.

"Nearly every day, we... I work for him." The doctor hums, his brow furrowed as he taps his pencil against his lips.

"Continue with some more questions." The doctor urges and so they do, Danny's mouth running like a leaking tap and Suzy asking the odd one here and there.

By the end of it all the only thing Arin seems to have forgotten is Danny. He remembers the things they did together but the person who accompanied him was never Danny. He always filled the spot in with someone else. Danny was beyond the point for crying at this stage and just felt empty and worthless. Arin must have felt bad for him because half way through he'd grabbed hold of Danny's hand and he hadn't let go. Danny held onto him in desperation as his world came tumbling down at his feet. Arin Hanson, his boss and best friend didn't know who he was and couldn't remember anything about him, not even his full name.

(+ x)

He texted Barry as soon as they left the doctors office. He followed after the two at a slow trudge as Suzy clung to her husband as the made their way back to the car.

**_Arin's got temporary Alzheimer's :_ ** **_ Me _ **

**_ Barry _ ** **_: How bad is it?_ **

**_I'm the only thing he can't fucking remember_ **   
**_Go figure :_ ** **_ Me _ **

**_ Barry _ ** **_: Shit man. I'm sorry dude. Is there anything we can do or can we just hope that it'll pass and he'll remember?_ **

**_Doc said to try and jolt his memory but the most of the time you just have to wait for it to come back to them but maybe it won't :_ ** **_ Me _ **

**_ Barry _ ** **_: I'm really sorry Dan. I can't image what it must be like_ **

**_Don't sweat over it, there's nothing we can do about it and Arin's the one confused out of his mind and feeling like complete shit at the moment. We're on our way back to the office now, don't know what we'll do from there but I guess we'll figure it out. See you soon buddy :_ ** **_ Me _ **

**_ Barry _ ** **_: It must suck for him, having everyone tell you this stranger is your best friend, poor guy. I'll let Ross and Kev know. Keep your chin up man it'll be alright_ **

Danny closes his eyes and let's out a heavy sigh. He hoped to God that Barry was right.

(+ x)

Upon arriving back at the office Ross and Kevin greeted them with sad smiles and a few questions. Arin looked lost, like all of a sudden he didn't know who he was or what he was doing in a room filled with people he didn't know. Suzy didn't let go of his hand and in return he didn't try and move away from her. Danny noticed how his eyes would travel over his way more times then he cared to count but he didn't go over to him or speak up. In fact, after a few minutes he shut himself out of the conversation that was going on and left the room. He sat in the recording room on the grump couch, chin resting in his palm and eyes staring straight through the TV in front of him. He hadn't expected anyone to follow after him but he wasn't at all surprised when he heard the door open and shut again as someone walked into the room. He didn't move as Barry moved over and sat beside him silently. A minute passed in which he didn't know what to say.

"You gonna be okay?" Barry finally asked. Danny shrugs and slumps back on the couch in an uncomfortable position that he doesn't plan on leaving any time soon. Spine be damned, he was feeling lower than the lowest he's ever felt.

"I dunno. I mean, it's not the end of the world right? At least he's still here, alive and all that." he rubs at the back of his neck and looks up at the ceiling. Yeah this situation could be a whole lot worse than what it is but that didn't make Danny feel any less like crap.

"Yeah I know, we should be grateful that he's here, I mean I know we are but are you okay mentally? It's been a rough few weeks and this is just the icing on the cake you know."

"I'll be fine Barry, I just need some time to let it all sink in and think about what I can do about it. Thanks for the concern though." He didn't know how okay he was going to be, it was a big blow, having your best friend just forget you existed. But no matter what he wasn't going to let this become about him because it isn't and it never will be. Arin was the one suffering here, not him.

"We'll if you need, you know were here man, all of us. This is about Arin but it does effect us all."

"I get that." _But I'm not going to make it about myself, I'm fine, Arin isn't_. They fall silent again, just existing in their own thoughts. 

Danny's heart feels like it sets home in his stomach as the reality of it all sets in. Everything he's done with Arin and Arin alone, without company or the presence of recording equipment over three fucking years are now memories for him to bare on his own until (if he does) Arin remembers them. That was probably the bit that sucked the most, because he can reacquaint himself with Arin, but he can't relive that stuff with him if he never remembers. Sure he can tell him those stories, but it wouldn't be the same. It'd be like telling Barry about them, which he most likely has at this stage. But it's not the same thing. He closes his eyes and tells himself to man up and get over it. His problems mean squat compared to the shit Arin's going through right now.

There's a light knock at the door and Barry turns to look over the back of the couch to tell whoever it is that they can come in. Danny doesn't open his eyes and he doesn't move either, he just listens. Suzy comes into the room with Arin still with her, like a lost puppy because his world has changed in his mind, like he's gone into the future and has no idea about anything, like he feels he doesn't belong here anymore.

"Were going to head home, I think we all need some time to let this sink in before we try and do too much. Kevin suggested we all meet up here in a few days and sit down to work out what we can." Suzy says it slowly, like she wants to make sure that everyone is taking it all in. Danny slowly sits up on the couch, running his hand through his mess of hair to push it out of his face before he turns to look over to the pair. Arin's watching him with a look a deep thought, like he's trying to figure him out, remember him. Danny swallows thickly and looks up to Suzy with a nod.

"Sounds fair." His voice is weak all of a sudden and it takes him a moment to clear his throat in hopes the next time he speaks up his voice will be better. Barry nods in agreement before he stands up and moves over to them to give the pair separate hugs. 

Danny finds himself standing up and following his example and he almost regrets it the moment his body lifts off the couch because he doesn't know if he can hug Arin, if by doing so he'll make him uncomfortable because he doesn't _know_  Danny. But it's second nature to Danny, he's always hugging Arin, loves the feeling of his strong arms around him and the way that he can snuggle into his body so easily. He hugs Suzy tight, mumbling that it'll be alright and holding onto her a little longer than he normally would. He knows he does it to prolong the moment he has to pull back and get rejected by Arin, but if Suzy read it as extra comfort even for himself, he doesn't mind. When he does let go of her and step back Arin is watching him again and he can basically feel the regret pouring out of him like he himself isn't sure. Danny notices the way his arm twitches out his way in the slightest before it falls back, like he was going to reach out but thought better. For Arin's sake, more than his own he holds out his hand carefully, slowly like he doesn't want to scare him off. There's a pause on Arin's end for the briefest of seconds before he reaches out and clasps Danny's hand firmly in his own.

"See you in a few days I guess." Danny mumbles and Arin nods quickly, not sure if he wants to let go of Dan's hand or not, like he was afraid to hold on too long while also fearing that if he lets go too soon, he might hurt Dan even more. Danny loosens his grip first and lets his hand fall to his side.

"Look after yourself." Arin replies, giving him a small smile before he backs out the door, waving to Barry despite having already hugged the man. Suzy presses a quick kiss to Danny's cheek as she passes him on her way out.

"He'll come around." She whispers before she leaves. Danny wants to say that he knows he will, but what good was there in giving himself false hope?

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE don't yell at me! I know little- to- nothing about this stuff but I'm trying my diddly darn hardest... TT_TT


	4. - PART 4 -

Danny still spends the next few days in the office doing what he can around the place, although the energy that he's known to have isn't there. No one blames him for it because they're not really themselves either, but they understand that this is a little harder for Danny then it is for them. They weren't forgotten by someone who holds all the sunshine in their lives. Like Kevin suggested the group find themselves in the grump space at the usual meeting table a few days after they found out the information on Arin's condition. Danny didn't think he'd see Arin between the dates, and he wasn't wrong, making his heart ache just that little bit more at the lack of his company. The worse thing was that he didn't know if texting Arin would be alright and so he didn't meaning that Arin of course never texted him either. Suzy and Arin are the last to arrive for the meeting and the moment Danny sees the man his heart feels like it comes a little more to life. He misses Arin far too easily. The younger man greets all the familiar faces like he normally would and when he gets to Dan his smile doesn't drop like it has the times before, like he's been getting himself used to his face within the past few days.

"How's it going?" He sticks his hand out for Danny to shake. It's not the way he'd normally greet Danny, but then again, he doesn't know that.

Danny smiles and pulls his hand from his jeans pocket and grasps Arin's in his own. "Okay I guess, a bit busy-" He falters slightly as Arin pulls him in by his hand and wraps his arm around Dan's shoulders for a man hug which Danny is quick to return, patting Arin's back as the younger man does to him. It feels weird, alien because they only ever hugged like this once when they first met and then every hug after was always the real deal with them squeezing each other and Danny burying his face in Arin's chest and Arin coping a face full of wiry hair. But Danny takes it because it's like they're hugging for the first time to Arin.

"How've you been?" He asks as they pull back, sliding his hands back into his jeans pockets because he doesn't know what to do with his hands. Danny's relieved to notice that no one else is really paying a lot of attention to them.

"Pretty good I guess. Been thinking about you a lot, y'know. It's not everyday you go through your phone and find multiple images of yourself with a stranger." Arin chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. Danny offers him a smile that hurts to provide. He knows it's hard for Arin, but he's trying to be as selfless as possible and it's hard for him, because all he's wanted to do is grab hold of someone and scream that it wasn't fair on him. But it wasn't Arin's fault and to hell with him if he was ever going to blame Arin for this because it will never be the mans fault.

"It must be weird." He manages to get out, his voice sounding a little unlike his own.

"Probably no weirder than you looking at me and seeing someone you know so well think exactly that of you." Arin shrugs slightly and looks back up to Danny again.

"It's not so bad." He lies and he wonders if Arin can see though it as easily as he would have if this hadn't happened. Arin does assess him a little longer before he hums what Dan guesses is some form of acknowledgment of his words. They both turn to look at the group at the same time, the tension setting in. Danny gives Suzy a smile as she moves past Ross to approach him, opening her arms for a hug.

"Hey Suze, you doing okay?" He asks as he wraps his arms around her small frame.

"Yeah I've been good, yourself?" She tucks her hair behind her ear as she pulls back and looks up at him.

"Kept myself busy."

"I guess that's a good thing to do." She smiles softly in that way she does when she knows it's not fully okay but there's not much to be done about it. Danny will never get over how lucky Arin was to have her, because she seemed to always just be enough steps ahead to be amazing but not so hard in front to cause problems. She turns back to the group and motions to the large table. "Shall we?"

Everyone agrees yes and Arin awkwardly finds himself the center of attention, not something he enjoys, surprisingly enough. Throughout the whole meeting he never once looks away from Danny, no matter what. It's unsettling just as much as it is comforting and leaves Danny's heart breaking further because under any other circumstances Arin would be doing something to make Dan laugh or leave him hot under the collar in front of everyone, because that's what he was like. For once Dan wished Arin would make him blush and fidget in his seat instead of making him feel like he was sinking into a black hole.

(+ x)

They really came to the conclusion that there's nothing they can really do but help Arin though this as best as they can without making it too stressful on him. They come to the conclusion that all they can do is help Arin relearn about Danny and hope that along the way he remembers. The conclusion Arin comes to once everyone thinks that they're done is that maybe it would be best to just be in each others constant company, whether they were actually interacting or not.

It's not like they weren't almost always together already anyway, and Barry did speak up and say that once they get back into some sort of routine they will be anyway, but then Arin went on sheepishly to say that he meant almost 24/7 if at all possible.

Danny nearly died on the spot at the idea. Being around Arin as long as he was most of the time was hard enough on him, but being around him _that_ long? He'd do something he'd later regret and if Arin ever remembered him their friendship would be fucked and if he never did then he wouldn't _want_ to remember Danny at all. But everyone else saw no problem with it and that was how Barry said he'd stay with Kevin so that they could have a space to themselves to sort this out and Suzy said she'd be fine with Arin staying with Danny so long as it helped.

Danny, in his mind, was fucked. But in Arin's mind it was the best solution, and maybe he was right but that didn't help the fact that Dan knew that this was going to end in him outing himself and dying of heartbreak whether Arin remembered him or not. That would just be the icing on the cake.

(+ x)

"You're not usually this quiet are you?" Arin asks after a while, once everyone else had gone back to what they needed to get done. Danny looks over to him, he could lie, but what good would it do?

"Trust in you to notice." Danny snorts. Arin doesn't reply and Danny quickly looks over and explains himself. "You could always read me like a book man. Me? I could never read you."

"So something's bothering you?" Arin asks slowly because he almost feels like he doesn't have the right to be asking, like maybe Dan didn't want to tell him. It was hard for him to figure out what to think. Danny pauses for a moment.

"I guess you could say that." He shrugs his shoulder lightly and turns back to looking at the tabletop. It's always been so hard to lie to Arin, especially to his face.

"Can... Is there anything I can do?" Arin asks in a small voice. Danny looks back to him with a sad smile and shakes his head a little. Arin nods. "Well if there's someone who can, just y'know. And if you decide you do wanna talk, I might not y'know... I'll be here okay? I'll do what I can."

"Thank you Arin." Danny mumbles. Arin's heart has always been too big, he's always been too kind for Dan to handle. Maybe that was why he'd fallen as bad as he had, because he hadn't been so loved before by another human who wasn't a relative. It almost hurt to love Arin as much as he does.

"You don't have to thank me."

"You would say that." Danny huffs out a weak laugh as he shakes his head, looking back to the table as he taps his thumbs upon it.

"Well yeah, I'm still me." Arin rolls his eyes as he gets himself up from the spot he hadn't left since they all sat down nearly an hour ago. "I'm gonna see what Barry's up to."

"Alright." Danny watches him go, his smile falling into a slight frown. Yeah, Arin was still Arin, nothing about him had changed in the slightest. The only difference was the void in his memory when Dan was meant to sit, if there was even void. Maybe there wasn't and that was why Arin had put other people in the place of him in those events he could remember. Maybe Danny wasn't that important. Maybe Danny was thinking too much and needed to stop before he pulled himself apart piece by piece.

(+ x)

They head back home reasonably early, usually they'd spend so many hours in the grump space Danny considered just dragging a bed there and staying. But they had nothing to do, the couldn't record grump episodes yet until Arin at least knew the basics to Danny otherwise it wouldn't work. They were back to the bottom of it all again. They're silent from leaving the grump space until they're in Danny and Barry's place. Suzy at some point had gone home and returned with some of Arin's stuff, claiming it to be just like a sleepover. Danny had smiled slightly at that but he still felt doomed.

"I'm uh, hoping you remember this place."

"Yeah, course, Barry lives here." Arin shrugs and Danny's shoulders sag at the way he says it. _Course, but I can't remember that you live here or who the fuck you are_. Danny has to close his eyes and remind himself that this isn't and never will be Arin's fault. He didn't ask for this anymore than Danny did.

"Right." He fidgets in his spot. Arin notices, of course he does, because Danny didn't want him to and he always does. He can basically see the gears turning in the younger mans head and he wishes he hadn't said it like that or said it at all because he knows what's to come from it.

"I- I didn't mean it like that." Arin mutters and there's so much guilt in his voice that Danny's heart restricts itself. He's an asshole, a selfish douche-bag for dragging Arin into his pity party. Arin's going through enough shit, he doesn't need Dan's crap on top of it.

"It's not your fault, I'm sorry. I get it, well like not really but I understand this is hard on you." Danny mumbles and now he feels guilty and they're a mess like usual. Only this time it doesn't feel as right as it usually would.

"It's hard on you too."

"This isn't about me." Danny sighs and Arin pauses for a moment before he drops his stuff on the floor and steps closer to the thin Jew.

"It kinda is, more than it is about me."

"No, well, it shouldn't. I'm not the one who's got memory loss."

"No, but because of the way this has worked I could live on without you, and it sounds bad but I don't know anything about you and it's like looking at an empty page. But for you... you've lost a friend, someone who was close to you because I can't remember you. This is about you." Arin runs his hand through his hair and looks at Dan with a thousand apologies in his eyes. Danny doesn't know what to say. This isn't meant to be about him, he isn't the one suffering. And even if he is he has to suck it up and deal with it because Arin's the one that needs help through this not him.

"Arin-"

"No. This _is_ about you. Not me. Because my life could go on if I never remember you. But you can't, not as easily as I can anyway. Three years, right? That's a long time Danny. You need this more than me." Danny's speechless. Arin fucking Hanson was too good for him, too good for this damned world even. He never put himself first even when he needs too.

Danny tries to find something to say but all that escapes his mouth when he opens it is a weak exhale of air. Arin steps even closer and wraps his arms around Danny's thin waist. And Danny doesn't even take a second to respond, gripping at the back of Danny's shirt as he hugs him tight, not caring that this is probably uncomfortable for Arin because to hell with it if he was letting him go now. He buries his face into Arin's chest, like he always would and Arin's hold on him tightens. He had to force himself not to cry otherwise Arin really wouldn't know what to do.

"You've always been important to me, almost since the day I met you, why do you have to do this to me and make me fucking cry you asshole." Danny mutters and he feels the way Arin's chest vibrates with a chuckle and it makes it harder for him not to burst into tears again.

"I'm sorry?"

"No you don't get to be sorry. I'm sorry for trying to jam all of you into my heart. Because now look at where we are." There's a long pause of silence before Danny forces himself it pull away. Arin doesn't let go of his side with one hand as the other reaches up to try and push some of Danny's hair from his face.

"Seriously dude, how do you manage with this?" He chuckles and Danny, runs his own hand through it, managing to push the most of it back.

"I don't." He laughs, thinking the same way he doesn't manage his feelings for Arin. "It's not meant to be."

"There has to be a secret to it."

"Nope."

"How 'bout this then."Arin begins, stepping back slightly as he holds his palms together, fingers pointing up against his lips. "You help me figure this out, and I'll find the secret to taming your hair, hows that sound?"

Danny smiles and nods. "Sounds good."

"Then we'll have everything figured out."

"I like the way you think, Big Cat." Danny chuckles before he pauses. He watches as Arin's face falls slightly and he clears his throat and pinches the bridge of his nose. "Sorry, just something I call you sometimes."

"Big Cat?" Arin asks and something in his voice sounds hopeful.

"Yeah, sorry I won't do it if it makes you feel uncomfortable or whatever."

"No, no. It's fine. I like it." Arin shrugs with a small smirk and Danny can feel the warmth in his bones. _Good because I like it too._

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boopidoop fluffiness. Arin's heart will devour the sun and none of us can stop it. The plot is actually moving forward now I think yaaaay.


	5. - PART 5 -

Danny finds himself rummaging around in his fridge and cupboards to try and figure out what they're going to have for dinner as Arin perches himself onto of the counter and talks away. Danny listens on with a smile as he decides on some frozen pizza, too lazy to be bothered actually making anything. Every now and then Arin will stop talking for a second and then ask Danny if he already knew what he was talking about. About seventy percent of the things Arin was saying he did know but he always told the man to keep going because he just wanted to hear his voice. Once the pizza is ready they move themselves to the couch, facing each other as they eat in silence for a few minutes.

"So... What we're in a band... Right?" Arin asks unsure. Danny nods, his curls bouncing around his shoulders with the action. Arin pauses again.

"Starbomb was is? I think that's what Suzy said."

"Yeah that's it. It was your idea. Get me and Brian together with you to make music. You liked our stuff from Ninja Sex Party so you asked if we wanted to make stuff with you as well." Danny says it all slowly, hoping that maybe Arin will jump in and finish something off because he remembered.

"What's it like?"

"Barry's got the CD's here if you wanna listen to 'em." Danny looks over to where he thinks they could be to try and check if they were still there. When he looked back to Arin he was nodding quickly. Danny smiled and shifted his pizza from his lap and got up, wiping his hands on his pants as he goes over to the mess of CD's and begins looking through them.

"What do I do in the band?" Arin asks even though Danny finds that should be an easy answer for him to figure out.

"Vocals, rap mainly."

"I've always wanted to rap." Arin mumbles and the way he says it makes Danny's heart melt with how cute he sounds.

"I know. You always loved getting in the booth and recording." Danny frowns as he starts to get to the bottom of the pile before he sees the familiar pink, blue and yellow covers. "Here."

Danny hadn't realised Arin had gotten up and was standing over him until his chin bumped into his shoulder when he moved. He swallowed thickly and went to move but Arin was pressed against him, looking the albums over from where he stood. So Danny didn't move. Arin reached out and took Player Select from Danny's hand and held it up a little higher for him to see better. There was a heavy silence settling into the room as Arin read over the song titles on the back, eyebrow raised slightly. Danny couldn't help but snuffle a giggle against his hand at how confused Arin looked at his own work.

"You wanna put them in?" Danny asks expectantly as Arin takes the other CD from Danny's hand.

"This... These aren't like proper songs that go on charts and shit right?"

"No? That was never the intention of it. Was just for shits and giggles man, the lovelies love it." Danny shrugs and motions for Arin to hand over the albums. Maybe listening to them will trigger something.

"I'm kinda worried but at the same time I'm like this is my stuff. This is weird man." Arin admits with a nervous chuckle as he moves back to the couch to continue his pizza.

"I bet." Dan responds absentmindedly as he puts the CD's in the player and starts it up, moving back over to his food as the stereo reads the first album. "Let's see if this triggers any memories."

Arin nods with a mouthful, full attention going into simply listening to whatever spews from those speakers.

(+ x)

"Dude, your voice is seriously amazing." Arin says in slight exaggeration, enough so to make Danny now his head in hopes of hiding the way his cheeks flush pink. He can't handle having Arin compliment him like that. He gets up and goes over to turn off the stereo, the music finished.

"Thanks."

"No wonder I wanted to do music with you, shit man I could listen to you sing about dicks all day if I had to." Of course Arin would say that.

"That was NSP." Danny responds and Arin gives him a sideways look. "Ninja Sex Party, wrote a song about dicks."

"I have to hear that." Arin pipes up. "You got the album?"

"Jesus Arin not now it's getting late. Plus there's only so much of my own voice I can handle." Danny laughs and Arin pouts at him. "You've got the albums at home, so long as you didn't get rid of them or whatever."

"But I wanna listen now."

"Tomorrow okay? God you're like a child." Danny laughs coming back over to the couch but not intending to take a seat.

"Haven't I always been?"

"Yeah you have. Anyway I'm gonna shower then hit the hay, because unlike you apparently, I'm tired as hell." Danny shakes his head and turns on his toes to leave the room.

"Y'know I could join you and save water?" Arin teases and Danny doesn't turn to face him as he answers, because if he didn't have so much hair Arin would see the blush creeping around his goddamn neck.

"Sure, you take hours regardless of the circumstances. I doubt sharing will make a difference."

"You'll never know if you don't try!" Arin yells after Danny's retreating form with a wide smirk. There's no response and slowly Arin's smile falls. He didn't push it, did he?

(+ x)

Danny's heart really stops beating when he steps out the shower to see Arin standing only centimetres from him. "And you say I take forever." Arin huffs and Danny lets out a soft chuckle.

"Sorry, had to deal with this." He points to his still wet hair that he was in the process of drying.

"I didn't... If what I said before made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. That wasn't intentional or anything, I was just joking." Arin mumbles and Danny rests his hand on his broad shoulder and offers him a soft smile.

"Dude you've said you'd fuck me in the ass more times then I care to count. It's fine honestly. I know what your 'humour' is like."

"Hey I'm not the one who wrote a song about being gay."

"I'm surprised by the factor everyday Arin." Danny laughs and he watches as the younger man seems to take it in.

"Maybe I should."

"Oh god, let's get your memory back first. Then we'll start thinking about songs with a little homo in them."

"Or full homo." Arin smirks and Dan bites the inside of his lip. _You would say that Hanson._

"If that's what you really want." Danny moves past Arin with a shake of his head. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah, you sleep good."

"You too."

Arin lets out a heavy sigh of relief as he turns to the bathroom and heads in. He hadn't made Danny uncomfortable and that was what mattered. And he didn't blame himself for ever saying that he wanted to ravish the mans body, because he was _hot_.

(+ x)

Arin finds himself lying flat on his back staring up at the ceiling with tired eyes as he finally admits defeat. He's been trying to get to sleep for the better part of two hours with no luck in the slightest. His mind was too loud and all he could think about was the curly haired man in the bed in the room next door. More specifically, all he could think about what that nickname; Big Cat.

Big Cat... It rolled so nicely, kinda fit him just right and he liked it so much, loved it even. _Big Cat_. Every time he thinks of it, it's rolling off Danny's tongue in his voice and its sounds so right. He didn't care how or why Danny came up with the nickname but he never wanted him to stop calling him it. He wanted this to be something he took to the grave, something that would forever be theirs.

He frowns and rolls onto his side and stares off into the darkness of the room. Forever was a long time. He closes his eyes and tries to will his tired body to sleep but his mind just keeps on talking, making noise, rolling. He can't grasp everything that's going on in his head but he's able to pick something out of all the noise and focus on it.

~~~  
 _"Dude seriously, you've gotta stop saying shit like that, you'll get us in so much trouble."_

_"Ah, who cares Daniel. Gees, live a little will ya?"_

_"I live far more with you than with anyone else on this planet I swear."_

_"Do you say that to all your boys?"_

_"Yes Arin, definitely. Barry will be jealous so don't tell him we're out today."_

_"Barry huh? What little old me isn't good enough? You gotta go playing around with Barry to satisfy yourself?"_

_"Seriously Arin, I can't handle how gay you're trying to make me."_

_"You're gay anyway, stop complaining."_

_"You wish."_

_"I don't have to wish."_

_"Goddamnit dude please."_

_"Fine. I'll suck your dick later to make up for it."_

_"Arin!"_   
_~~~_

Arin frowns, his mind going fuzzy. Was that all real? Did that really happen? Did he just remember something? He doesn't get to ponder too long before he's passing out from exhaustion.

(+ x)

Arin's barely awake as he pulls himself out of bed and moves down to the kitchen, the smell of food moving his body for him like instinct. He rubs at his tired eyes, scratching the sleep from the corners as he stumbles into the kitchen with his nose following the smell of cooking bacon. He yawns and looks over to the stove to see Dan's afro in its full bed head glory.

"Morning." Arin mumbles as he moves over to Danny's side, looking around to see if he had plates and cutlery reading yet or not.

"Oh, morning. I didn't hear you get up. How'd you sleep?"

"Mm, okay once I got to sleep." Arin moves around to collect up the plates and cutlery Danny hadn't yet gotten out.

"Restless?"

"Yeah I guess you could say that." He puts the plates next to Danny on the counter and moves back over to the six seat table and looks around at the spots. "Um..."

"I usually sit closest to the door, you can put yourself wherever."

"Thanks." Arin places down Danny's cutlery before sitting himself across the table from Danny's spot, turning in his chair to look in Danny's direction.

"So um, last night when my mind wounded shut up, I... I think I..." He pauses for a moment and tries to think about how to word his sentences, his tired mind having the biggest brain fart. Danny looks over to him with a curious look and he bites the bullet. "Did we ever like, ugh we were out in town and we were getting stuff like, for the grump space because there was things we needed I don't know, and I promised you a blowjob for how annoying I was being. Did that happen?"

"When we were getting like mugs and shit?" Danny asks hopefully.

Arin stretched his brain before nodding quickly with a smile. "Yeah, you got a red one with a weird pattern for your stupid tea." Arin announces.

"You remember that?" Danny mumbles in bewilderment.

"Last night it came to me. I don't know why... You love tea don't you?"

"Yeah. Arin you... That's amazing." Danny turns back to his bacon with a wide smile. Arin remembers his love for tea. He had to call Suzy as soon as they were finished breakfast.

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many scene breaks I'm so sorry. And I hadn't intended for his first memory to be so gay. Oops xD but yay! He remembers Danny and his tea :3


	6. - PART 6 -

After they're finished eating Arin insists he'll clean up because Danny cooked and after losing the argument Danny goes off to the living room to call Suzy. He throws himself down onto the couch with little grace as he unlocks his phone and scrolls through his contacts. He has to wait a while as it rings out and for a moment he doesn't think she's going to answer. But just before he thinks it's going to ring out she's answering the call.

"Hey Danny, just gimme a sec." She rushes out and before Danny can respond there's a bunch on noise on her end. He waits silently, hearing Arin humming in the kitchen, but not clear enough for him to work out what tune it is. "Okay, hi, sorry about that."

"It's alright, everything okay?"

"Yeah I was just in the middle of something. How're you?"

"Yeah I'm good, great even."

"That's good, and Arin?"

"That's why I'm calling. I mean it probably could have waited but I don't know, I'm excited I guess?" Danny chuckles at himself. Yeah he was over the moon with the fact that already Arin was remembering things.

"Okay what is it?"

"I mean it's nothing big and now that I think about it, it's kinda silly but Arin was saying that last night he had a bit of trouble getting to sleep but he remembered a time we went out and got a whole bunch of cups for the grump space and he pointed out that I loved tea and I don't know yesterday he couldn't have been able to tell anyone that. I guess I just got excited. God I feel so stupid now this didn't need to be discussed right away."

"Danny honestly stop blabbing." Suzy laughs. "That's great, honestly that's so amazing that already he's got something. Do you know what it was that reminded him?"

"I'm not sure, I might ask later. God I just couldn't believe when he said that he remembered something so quickly."

"Arin's always been like that. He surprises a lot of people."

"Yeah I know." Danny sighs and looks over to the kitchen with a loving smile. God he was doomed.

"Anything else you needed?"

"No. Sorry about this Suze." Danny feels the embarrassment wash over him at how pointless this all was.

"Seriously Danny it's fine." Suzy reassures with another chuckle.

"I'll just text you next time."

"Alright." There's a pauses and Danny goes to end what little conversation there was but decides he might as well make the call worth it is he can.

"Did you wanna talk with him?" He asks.

"Actually, yeah, if that's alright." Suzy sounds like she was going to ask if she could have anyway, like he'd read her mind.

"No, that's why I asked." Danny chuckles, pulling himself off the couch and moving back into the kitchen.

"Don't sass me Avidan, that's Arin's job."

"He has competition then." Danny moves over to Arin who looks up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You wish."

"You can stop hurting my feelings now and speak with him." Danny mumbles.

"I'll talk with you later."

"Sure, see'ya." He hands the phone over to Arin who checks the name on screen first before he holds the device up to his ear.

Danny excuses himself from the room again so that he isn't invading space or anything like that and heads back into the lounge room. He moves back over to the CD stacks and goes through the many albums again. He eventually finds the Ninja Sex Party albums and loads them into the stereo, before turning it back off. He hadn't really promised but he had told Arin they could listen to them today and so that was what they were going to do. Maybe it was listening to the music yesterday that had Arin's memory coming back around.

Five minutes later Arin walks into the room, bidding Suzy goodbye before he hangs up and passes Danny's phone back to him.

"Y'know I only remembered that you liked tea right? It's not that big a deal." Arin chuckles and Danny's spirits fall a little.

"It's a big deal for me." He responds in a little too aggressive of a tone. He takes in a sharp breath and relaxes himself. He was being way to defensive but the idea of Arin finding this meaningless hurt. Arin pauses for a moment.

"No I meant like, it could have waited. It's not a big deal for her, it's a big deal for _us._ I know it's a big deal for you, it's a big deal for me too. I wasn't like saying it means nothing." Arin sits himself down next to Danny and the older male feels bad for getting so defensive. He deflates.

"Sorry. I just, I've been all over the place at the moment."

"It's okay, I don't blame you. I should have worded that differently." Arin rests his head in his hand and offers Danny a winning smile. Danny's body tries to move itself but he's able to catch himself before he leans in too much and looks away from the younger man.

"It's fine. So um, Ninja Sex Party, right?"

"Sure." Arin shrugs his shoulder, noticing the way Danny so obviously changes the subject but he drops it and moves on. If Danny isn't feeling comfortable with the conversation for whatever reason he won't force it on him no matter what. Danny gets himself up and moves over to the stereo, closing the CD compartment and bringing the remote back over to the couch with him.

"Wanna play some video games while we're at it?"

"Dude, I have been deprived for two weeks, please save me." Arin whines and Danny chuckles to himself, thinking about what it would be like if Arin had any other job and had been deprived of it, how much he'd hate the idea of doing that job in his spare time. God they were so lucky to be doing what they got to do.

"What do you wanna play?"

"You could put in Sonic Boom and I would not give two shits, and that game was hell." Arin sits himself more comfortably in the spot on the couch he has claimed as his own. Danny pauses briefly before he collects up the Wii remotes and checks what's in the console.

"Would Smash Bros be a better substitute?"

"Yes please." There's a pause as Danny collects up the stuff, the music playing in the background not even something on their minds. "We played Sonic Boom on Game Grumps didn't we?" Arin asks as Danny sits himself next to Arin.

"Yeah, we did." He smiles softly at Arin and turns his attention to the TV once he gives the remote over to Arin. The younger male pauses again before he leans forward in his seat.

"I remember it." He mumbles and Danny doesn't know what to say so he just leans into Arin and gives him a tight hug, rubbing his side and kissing the top of his head softly.

(+ x)

Arin all but destroys Danny at Smash, not too surprising to the older male. He was never good at remembering what controls were for what and which characters had what abilities. And although it is a competitive game, Danny was just playing it for Arin's sake, knowing that he needed something to keep him grounded while the rest of his life spirals out of control with his current situation. He watches Danny through the corner of his eye with a wide smile as the Jew makes inhuman noises in the back of his throat as he loses again to Arin, though not by much this time. Arin leans more forward on the couch and looks down at the controller in his hand as they dismiss the stats.

"Hey, um..." He pauses, suddenly unsure of what he was going to say, or if he could _even_ say it.

"Yeah?" Danny pauses from selecting his character to look over to the man beside him. Arin's gaze doesn't move and his body is tense. His mind runs away from him, taking with it anything he could say as a cover-up so he doesn't have to spill what he stupidly went to mention.

"Never mind."

"No dude I wanna hear it." Danny pushes slightly and Arin shakes his head, not bothering to tuck his hair behind his ear as it falls in his face. Like a shield, he hopes to hide behind it until the worry has passed.

"It was stupid, forget I even opened my mouth."

"Arin, half the shit you say is stupid." Danny points out with a smirk and Arin chuckles, looking up at the older male with a soft smile. "You can tell me anything man, I'd never judge you or anything like that if that's what you're worried about. For as long as we've been friends you've been saying you'd fuck me so I'm pretty sure I can handle anything you throw at me." Danny laughs but it's nervous, because he knows Arin but Arin doesn't know him. He could be thinking anything and Danny wouldn't be able to know what it possibly could be because Arin's mind isn't really in the right place at the moment.

"I... It's not that, well yeah but like... ugh." Arin throws his head down again with a defeated sigh. Danny places his hand on his broad shoulder and rubs small circles into the muscle.

"Take your time man, I ain't going anywhere." 

They fall silent as they start up another match and it stays silent for the whole of the round and the two after that, even as Danny wins one of them. They don't say anything and the music in the background finishes at some point in that time but Arin doesn't notice, and if Danny does he doesn't do anything about it. It's just the faint sound of the Wii remotes noises and the clicks of the buttons.

"Did we ever actually do it?" Arin asks out of the blue, his voice small from not being used and then working again. He has to clear his throat to help it recover. Danny frowns.

"Do what?"

"Fuck."

"What? No!" Danny chokes on his words. Out of all the things he'd had running through his head at the possibilities of what Arin was going to say, this was not even close to one of them. He was fearing the worst. Arin turns to look at the baffled Danny next to him with little- to- no emotion on his face. He wasn't even joking, he was seriously asking.

"Why not?" He frowns and a surprised laugh escapes Danny as he covers his face with his hands to get himself to stop freaking out over the question.

" _Why not_? Dude, you're married and straight as far as I know. I mean you say some pretty gay shit but you've never told me that you actually were gay or even bi. Whenever we said it it was always just stupid jokes. And I think the fact that you're _married_  should be enough reason anyway." Danny doesn't mean to make it sound harsh but it's a little snappy the way he says it. Probably because all of the emotions flooding into his system so suddenly and it's always easier to just focus on anger in those cases. Arin doesn't really react. He just stares, watches with a blank face like he was trying to make sense of it. The situation seemed pretty clear in Dan's mind.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" Danny asks confused and Arin frowns.

"You're not married or in a relationship are you?" Arin rakes through his mind but it's so hard. Everything is all fuzzy around the edges and blurred in the middle, making it impossible for him to figure out what his mind is telling him.

"No."

"Are you gay? Or bi, whatever you wanna call it... You're not straight right?" Arin looks to him again, like he was waiting for him to lie and be able to call Dan out on it. Danny freezes up. No, the answer is no. He's not gay, he's not bi or any other variation of sexuality that isn't straight. But he does like Arin, a lot and in all the wrong ways. But he's not gay, just gay for Arin.

"I'm not gay. I am straight." He mumbles and he watches as Arin tries to work it out. He wishes he knew what puzzle he was trying to put together in his mind.

"But not like... there's an exception right?" Arin urges and Danny knows he can't lie, Arin will see right through it but he can't just admit it. Arin doesn't remember him, what would it be like if he was told that his 'supposed' best friend wanted him like _that_. But the longer he stalls the more time Arin has to figure out if he's lying to him so he settles for an in-between answer that's neither a lie nor the truth.

"I don't know." He says it in a small voice, like maybe he hopes Arin won't hear it and will move on. Arin takes it for what it is, doesn't push it anymore.

"So we've never fucked?"

"No Arin."

"Would we?"

"I have no idea."

(+ x)

The thing for Arin was that he was learning about Dan all over again. And the thing with the fact that he knew him meant that he was unknowingly picking up things he'd missed thanks to the dynamics of their friendship. So if a gaze lasted a little longer than he would have thought it would or Dan slips up and says something he didn't mean to, or if he just shows the little bit more affection, Arin notices now when he never did before. And he knows, somewhere in his mind he knows that if this hadn't happened and he hadn't forgotten Danny, he would have never noticed these things, he would have never realized that Danny might be hiding something from him. The problem with all of this though, was the fact that he didn't remember Dan and so he didn't know where the line between black and white came into the equation and so he was stuck in a grey zone. 

But one thing he did know was that Dan had something he never did and maybe never would tell Arin hidden away. And he knew this because he can remember some of the conversations they've had now, but he never remembered Danny being so nervous whenever other people were around who weren't oblivious like Arin himself was at the time. It was like seeing it in someone else's point of view and he could see the way Danny would act around him and he knew, there was a weight crushing Dan's heart that he needed to tell someone. But that someone in Dan's mind couldn't be Arin because he didn't want to lose him or his friendship. But Arin was already lost, and maybe what Danny wanted to say was the map to help him back.

(+ x)

"I'm heading back to mine for a while to catch up with Suzy tonight. I hope that's okay."

"Dude, she's your wife, not like you need my permission." Danny laughs. It's been a few days since they had that conversation in between their Smash battle. The room had been tense and awkward afterward until Danny suggested they get lunch. Everything evened out again after that and the past few days Arin has been able to relay more facts about Dan to him as if Danny didn't know them. It made him feel better knowing that Arin was remembering him and happiness set itself in his bones when Arin was able to recall a major event in their lives. Everything was getting better and Danny was happy.

"I just wanted to let you know, just in case you decided you were going to make plans or anything." Arin shrugs.

"Well seeing as you've got yourself a date I'll find out what Barry's up to. You'll be back tonight or you gonna stay there?"

"No I'll be back. You can't be left by yourself can you?"

"Nope, I'll die of lack of attention." Danny makes a quiet, dramatic noise in the back of his throat and Arin rolls his eyes, ruffling Dan's hair as he passes him.

"Please don't die in the short time you're without company. I can't be a snuggle man without someone who is in need of being snuggled." Arin teases as he stops at the door.

"You could always snuggle my dead body." Danny shrugs and Arin pulls a face at the idea.

"No thanks. I'll see you tonight okay?"

"I'll be here, enjoy yourself Big Cat."

Arin pauses for a moment and bites back a smile. "I will, Sexy Kitten."

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have rushed this and left it at a weird place but meeeeehhhhhh


	7. - PART 7 -

What Arin had originally planned was for him to just spend a nice evening with his wife, possibly watch a movie as they ordered in their favorite take out food and just talk among themselves like nothing was wrong. It was going to be nice and quiet and peaceful and just a good time, with nothing else bothering them, with no interruptions. And he knows from the moment that he walks up to the door that Suzy would have been just as happy as him to do just that, to spend time with him. But what happens instead is completely his own fault because his mind has been running all over the place for the past few days and it gets to him. Seeing the woman he loves, will always love and knowing that she isn't the only one that holds his heart makes him snap.

So instead of welcoming her into a tight hug and soft kiss he chokes and stumbles and Suzy instantly knows that tonight isn't going to be a relaxing time for just them. And maybe if she was anyone else that might have angered or saddened her. But she's Suzy Berhow and so as soon as she sees that something with Arin is off, she puts everything on hold and to the side so that she can work whatever it is out before it gets worse. And so their welcoming is Suzy asking Arin if he's okay and a pause before Arin shakes his head that no, he doesn't think he is okay before he's even in the house.

Suzy nods and steps to the side to let Arin past her and into the house. She closes the door and follows her husband through to the kitchen, watching as he numbly looks around like he doesn't know the place. She gets him to sit down and gets him a glass of water before sitting herself across from him at the table. She just watches him for a moment, trying to figure out what's going on in his mind, waiting for him to speak first. But he doesn't and she knew he wouldn't but she always gives people chances because she knows that many do surprise.

"Honey, you need to talk to me otherwise we can't figure this out." She gently tries to urge the man on and she watches the way he deflates, like hearing that was the last thing he wanted to hear. Having her call him honey just sets home how doomed he is. He stays silent and in turn watches her back. Suzy waits patiently, knowing that Arin will talk as soon as he's ready. It takes a moment but he does get there.

"It's Dan." He mumbles quietly and he notices the way Suzy deflates a little as if she had been expecting the worst and this was far from it.

"What about him?" Suzy asks, folding her hands over the table top so that she doesn't start playing with anything out of nervous habit. Arin watches her for a moment with a regretful look. He doesn't know if he can do this, if he can break her heart like this. But he knows it's better to tell her straight off the bat then hide it away and having her find out. That would kill her.

"You know how sometimes you do something for a second time or when you watch a movie again you notice things that you failed to take in the first time?" Arin mumbles, going off on a slight tangent but it relates, he has to tell himself that so that he doesn't keep trying to steer this conversation else were.

"Yes." She doesn't say anything else and that worries him because he needs her responses to be longer so he has more time to get his thoughts together.

"I... I've gotten to know Dan all over again. And I've remembered so much but I've noticed things about him that I never did before. Like I never noticed the way he has that little smile when he's nervous but still happy about the situation, I never noticed..." He trails off. Suzy doesn't want to hear what he's noticed, she wants to know what the problem is. "I've noticed a lot of different things about him, a lot."

"Okay, that's good right?" Suzy asks and Arin wants to withdraw, end it there and move on but he can't. He's so close to getting to the main point anyway, so close to just spilling the beans and having it all over and done with, out of the way so he can move on. But can he move on after something like this? Is he getting ahead of himself? Does he even feel the way he thinks he does? He ponders on that as he tries to scrounge up what to say to Suzy. Yeah, he felt like that.

"I mean, it should be right? But it's made me notice something about myself and... I'm scared. I never wanted this, I didn't want to hurt you or anyone else. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to say this, fuck." He mutters the last bit so quietly that Suzy misses some of it. She waits a moment before she pieces it all together. And she's seen this coming, probably since day one, but she never thought that Arin would ever admit it to himself, ever get the balls to actually take that final step that he desperately wanted to take.

"You've always felt this way though haven't you? You just didn't want to admit it to yourself." She states and for a brief moment Arin fears he accidentally said something aloud that he didn't mean to, gave himself away before he was ready to. But as soon as he looks into Suzy's eyes he realizes that she knew all along, that she knew even before he did. He deflates some because she's showing nothing but love and it hurts, but it's comforting and better than most other reactions she could be showing right now.

"You figured it out huh?"

"I need you to say it just in case I'm wrong."

There's a pause. "I... I think I like Dan. God, it's so hard to say." His hand tangles in his hair, pulling at the roots.

"You _think_?" Suzy asks and Arin looks up at her again with slight shock before he deflates again and his hand drops onto the table top.

"I know I like Dan, way too much then I should."

"At least you can admit it now." Suzy reaches across the table and takes hold of his hand, running her thumb over his knuckles. They fall silent for a moment as they watch each other and when Suzy doesn't make any further comments Arin frowns.

"Don't you have anything you wanna say?"

"Not really. There's nothing I have to say."

"So you're not mad or anything like that?" Arin asks sheepishly and Suzy's smile softens and she squeezes his hand reassuringly.

"Why would I be mad? You can't help stuff like this. It's not your fault you love him. It'd be wrong of me to be upset in any form because I knew that there was something there anyway. I could have brought it up earlier but I wanted you to be ready." She shrugs with a small smile on her glossed lips. And Arin is so lucky, so goddamn lucky to have her in his life because she understands him so well. But she said _love_ , he never said he loved Dan. It was way too soon to be thinking about that, he could barely grasp the idea of liking Dan.

"Thank you Suzy."

"Don't thank me, I haven't done anything."

"You've always been there and you care so much. God i don't deserve you." Arin bows his head and bites into his bottom lip.

"Maybe." Suzy smirks causing Arin to chuckle. "Anyway, how's a boring movie and take out sound?"

"You seriously know me too well."

"That's my job."

(+ x)

They don't really watch the movie at all. They sit on the couch together and they talk for almost the whole time. The subject concerning Danny doesn't come up again in their conversation, but it doesn't leave Arin's mind at all. It even effects his ability to take in everything Suzy says, because all he can think about is chocolate curls and contagious laughter. The fact that Suzy was so clam and okay with the idea of Arin being in _love_  with Dan unsettles him as much as it did calm him. 

On the one hand it was nice knowing that it didn't matter to her at the moment, that their current situation was okay with her, but it also terrified him. What if it escalated? What if the situation changed and she was no longer okay with what was going on? What was she okay and not okay with? What did any of this even _mean_? He wanted to ask, but bringing that up scared him just as much as the possible outcomes. And so he says nothing and he continues to fail to focus on what Suzy says to him but if she notices, she says nothing.

Eventually it gets late enough that Arin knows he should head back because he told Dan that he'd be returning. He doesn't really want to leave because he knows that means that he'll have to face Danny with the knew knowledge that he could possibly be in love with him, knowing that these feelings could be more than what he wants them to be. It terrifies him. But as many things as Arin has been over the years, he wasn't known to be a coward. Sure, sometimes it seemed like it but he always confronted everything in the end, he never ran from what he thought he should have.

"I should get going." He mumbles looking toward the door like he could possibly find a reason to prolong his departure but what was the point? He had to face this, and beside, he didn't have to tell Danny nothing. He was overthinking, like usual. A normal day in Arin Hanson's head.

"Yeah, he'll start to worry."

"Probably. It's Dan after all." Arin snorts, shaking his head. Suzy smiles up at him even though he isn't looking. He was doing so much better already, he could recall so much and he did it without knowing, and it would take him a moment to realize he'd remembered something, but that was good. She was happy for him.

"How long do you plan on staying there?"

"Not sure. But I guess it won't be long." There's that question, rolling around in his head again. What if he just stayed? He knew he couldn't, he had to come home to Suzy, his wife. But what if he just... _didn't_? He doubts Barry would be okay with the idea of him staying any longer than he has too. Not that he would hate it, but it wasn't Arin's place to just stay, was it.

"When you're ready, just let me know okay?"

"Of course."

"And if you find that maybe you don't want too, definitely let me know, you got it?"

"What do you mean?" He looks in her direction but not at her. It's so hard, he's so torn. He can barely remember Danny and here he is thinking about leaving Suzy, his goddamned _wife_  behind and running away with him.

"I think you know what I mean. Or at least you can figure it out Arin."

"Suze-"

"Don't say anything. Just go back to him and think about it okay? I'll be here whenever you need and in whatever way you need me to be. You understand what I'm saying?" And Arin really is the luckiest guy in the universe to have ever been born. He doesn't deserve her, he never did and he never will.

"Thank you."

"Seriously, if you thank me one more time I won't let you back in that door."

"You don't mean that."

"Don't doubt me." She chuckles and he steps up to her and wraps his arms around her small frame, leaning down into her body.

"Never."

"I love you Arin. No matter what you chose."

"I love you too. I always will."

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck writing man I'm too depressed for this shit and they make it so hard, oh god it sucks trying to tear them apart for egobang but I'm so gay that I need to make everyone else gay please stop me.


	8. - PART 8 -

Danny wasn't home when he got back, so he guessed he was just out, probably went out with Barry and Kevin. Maybe he really couldn't handle being alone for long periods of time. Arin snorts. Sure thing. He could text Danny and find out where he is or what he's up to, let him know that he's back, but he doesn't. Instead he sets himself up in the lounge room with a sketch book and spends the time doodling pointless images that will never see the light of day again. He doesn't really take in how long he's there but after a while he does check the time and he frowns at how late it is, still with no Danny. He pulls out his phone and decides to text him.

**_I'm back at yours. What time you getting back? : Me_ **

He places his phone down next to his leg and goes back to sketching for another ten minutes. Danny doesn't respond and after another five he sends a message out to Barry.

**_Dan with you? : Me_ **

He replies within the minute.

**_Barry: No?_ **

**_Do you know where he's at? He isn't answering :Me_ **

**_Barry: Sorry man. Try Brian?_ **

He goes to respond when his phone vibrates in his hand and a banner across the top of his screen shows that Danny's sent him a text.

**_Nvm I got a response :Me_ **

**_Danny: On my way_ **

**_Alright, see you soon man :Me_ **

There's a long pause in which Danny doesn't reply, nearly seven minutes before Arin's phone is vibrating again.

**_Danny: Soon_ **

He frowns and shakes his head with a chuckle. His nervousness tries to creep back into his bones but he manages to keep calm about it. Danny doesn't have to know anything that he doesn't want to tell him.

(+ x)

Maybe Danny shouldn't have gone out and done what he had. Actually scratch that, what Danny did was a horrible decision he made without the slightest ounce of thought. He doesn't know why, because he doesn't drink much, he drinks on special occasions and never a lot, but he thought he's had a hell of a past few weeks and he needed something to just ease everything in his body. He didn't plan on getting drunk, and he wasn't really, just pretty tipsy to the point of slight regret, but once he started he thought why stop? But luckily Arin had text him, because it made him realize what he was doing and he stopped. He thanks his past self for catching a cab out otherwise he'd be leaving his car here. Again, not drunk but over the limit and feeling a little shitty for his actions. He doesn't know why he thought it would be a good idea. He should have just gone to Brian's or met up with Kevin and Barry like he was going to. Why'd he have to be so irrational?

As soon as he gets out the cab the weight of his actions crumbles down on top of him. He felt ashamed in himself, pathetic. Because this was stupid and thoughtless and he could have gotten himself in a heap of trouble. Hell he could still get himself in a heap of trouble. He just had to remember to keep his mouth shut around Arin and everything would be okay. But that was definitely going to be easier said than done. He lets himself in and hopes that by chance Arin's having a shower so he has a bit of time to get himself straight. But no such luck for him. Arin's on the couch doodling away when he walks in and he looks up at him with a soft smile.

"Hey. You didn't have to race back. I just wanted to know, make sure you were okay and all that."

"Yeah I did." Danny mumbles and Arin frowns. Neither of them move for a moment and Danny feels like shrinking away into the floor. There's so much he wants to say, sitting right on his tongue among the gross taste of cheap beer.

"You okay?" Arin asks catiously, placing his sketchbook down and getting himself up. Danny nods quickly, hoping he doesn't come over because he wants to say so much and he can't say any of it.

"Yeah no, I'm fine. Should probably think about going to bed though." He tries to force a smile but it's not reaching the line where convincing sits and he knows it. Arin moves over.

"Are you drunk?"

"Tipsy." He corrects and instantly wants to slap himself. Stupid filter isn't working.

"But you don't drink." Arin mumbles and Danny would be flattered that he remembers that if he wasn't so annoyed about the factor.

"It's been a wild few weeks y'know? This hasn't been exactly easy." Danny grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. Arin raises an eyebrow and gives him a look like he just insulted him.

"Oh, well I'm sorry." He snarks and it takes Danny a moment to realize how that must have sounded.

"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. Ugh." He rubs at his temples and steps up to Arin. "This isn't your fault at all, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to sound like that. I just meant that I've been stressing myself out over this and I overthink a lot and I didn't know what to do and I thought that a few wouldn't hurt but I drank way more then what I'd planned and now I'm freaking out that I'm gonna tell-" he stops himself and bites into his own tongue to shut himself up. He nearly said it, he can't finish that sentence now because he'll say something he didn't want to. Arin doesn't react for a moment as he waits, thinking Danny had more to say. When he fails to keep going Arin realizes he's said something he didn't mean to say.

"Tell who what? Me?" Arin asks and Danny could simply say no but instead he mutters a curse under his breath and that's about as bad as telling him the truth. It makes him curse again. "Tell me what?"

"Nothing. I can't Arin. I'll ruin everything, I'll lose you and I can't, not ever." Danny wants to scream. If he keeps this up Arin will run off. There's a pause as Arin takes it in. He wants to know, he's dying to know but he won't push it, he knows what it's like to be pushed.

"Okay. But I doubt it. When you're ready you can tell me okay?" Arin reaches out and runs his hands down Danny's arms in a comforting gesture. Danny nods and takes in a deep breath. "Are you sober enough to talk though because I... um, I need to talk to you about something, I wasn't going to but it's eating away at me."

"Yeah, I just... can I have a shower first?"

"Yeah sure... I could join you." He says it without actually meaning it but still with some hope.

"You would say that." Danny laughs and moves around him. That wasn't a no.

(+ x)

Despite the fact that it wasn't a no, Arin didn't push it, he was pushing it just by saying that and he really didn't want to fuck up. He was just trying to ease their nerves, his own mainly but Danny's as well. He could tell that he was nervous and tense, could tell that all he wanted to do was go to bed and sleep it off. But Arin knew that if he waited he wouldn't have the guts to tell him. He really wasn't going to tell him, but he figured the sooner the better, right?

He can't sit still now, hasn't actually been able to sit down since Danny went off to have his shower. Instead he just paces the lounge room and goes over in his head how he's going to say this, what he needs to say, what's risky to say, what he really shouldn't say. He starts stressing himself out over it. What if he tries to make his point but it comes across wrong? What if Danny tells him to fuck off or leave or something? He doesn't want to fuck this up, can't fuck up what he had with Danny because of this, despite the fact that he can't remember it all. Because he knows what's there, knows what he means to Danny, what Danny means to him, he can't fuck this up.

"Okay, I'm sorry if I seem 'vacant', I'll try to be attentive, but I'm super tired." Danny announces as he comes back into the room, wrapped up in multiple layers, his hair tied back in a messy bun so that he didn't get it wet. Arin nods and watches as he moves over to the couch as curls up on one end, bundling himself up in a blanket. It wasn't that cold was it? Arin couldn't tell. "You gonna stand there or come over?"

Arin moves without a response and sits himself down on the couch with a reasonable amount of space between them. Danny just watches him and waits it out, hoping Arin doesn't try and take too much time with it because he really was tired, and he really did feel like he could drop dead asleep without problem. But at the same time he didn't want to push Arin, just in case he needed the time. So he tries just focusing on something, keeping his mind running so that Arin can have that time he needs.

"So I hadn't intended on it, but Suzy and I, we... we got into a bit of conversation, conversation I had no intention of talking about, but it happened anyway and it left me thinking. I'm always thinking so much ain't I? And I knew there was something but I didn't want it to be real so I thought if I never said it, I could pretend it wasn't. But I said it and so it's real, there's nothing I can do about it I guess." Arin pauses, taking in a deep breath and holding it as Danny takes in what he's said.

"Okay, so Suzy knows about this?"

"Yes."

"So if I can't do anything about this, you've got someone to go to?" Danny mumbles. Arin wants to scream and inside he is. No one can help him with this, it's all on him to sort this out, and Danny is the only one who can make an impact with it.

"Well I mean, it's not something like that, it's just... informative? There's little that can be 'done', so to speak. It's just, I have to tell you, I'll go insane otherwise."

"Oh... um, okay. What is it?"

"I'm getting there. It's just... hard." Arin sighs and looks away from the older male, trying to think up the best possible way to word this. This wasn't how he planned the conversation in his head, but then again, the conversation he planned in his head wasn't done very well either. He doesn't say anything and for a while Danny thinks that maybe he isn't going to, that maybe he's going to get up and tell him not to worry about it and that he's going to just walk off and leave Dan there wondering. But he has to know now, the cats out of the bag and he needs an answer as to why.

"You know I don't care right? Whatever it is I won't judge you for it or anything like that, you know that don't you?" Danny tries.

"You say that but-"

"No, listen here Arin it doesn't matter. You could tell me you're planning on starting a war and I wouldn't care. Well I would but I'm not going to tell you to fuck off and try and stop you though I really should. That was a bad example, but you know what I mean. You're my best friend. Nothing will change that, okay Big Cat?" And that's what does it, that stupid nickname. Arin doesn't know why it effects him as much as it does, but it makes him want to scream at Dan for being so blind to think that in calling him that it wouldn't be a problem for him, that it wouldn't drive him insane.

"I think I like you. No I _know_ I like you, I like you heaps Dan God, I sound so stupid when I say it like that but I really do. I just..." Arin makes a small weak noise and mashes his knuckles together. He refuses to look up at Danny for his own sake. He's so selfish. The rooms so silent that he can hear Danny's breathing, can hear his own pulse in his ears and he could scream from how quiet it is.

"I... I like you too."

"No, God, not like that Danny, come on really?"

"I know. Arin," he shifts himself forward and nudges Arin to get him to look at him, "I know what you mean, more than friends right? Well me too."

They just stare at each other for a long time, the silence trying to speak all the words that they need to say. "You're serious."

"Yes Arin." Dan chuckles, rubbing at the back of his neck nervously. It hasn't sunk in yet, what this means. "Suzy knows?"

"Yeah."

"A-and?"

"She's okay with it." Arin shrugs, it hasn't sunk in with him either.

"Huh."

There's another pause. "You should probably head to bed right?" Arin tries. What more is he meant to say, what can he say? What did any of this even mean? So they put their hearts out on their sleeves, they confessed, now what?

"Uh. Yeah maybe." Danny goes to get up, but he can't leave it like this. This has to mean something right? Surely he can't just waste this. "But... I just..."

"Yeah." Arin chuckles like he knows what Danny's trying to say, but he too is in limbo, he doesn't know where that line is and if he can cross it or not.

"Lemme just..." Danny makes a frustrated sound and decides to just stop talking altogether. He isn't getting anywhere with words. Actions speak louder anyway right?

He takes a breath, counts to ten and forces himself to clam down and make a move, do what he's wanted to do for what feels like forever now. And he didn't realize he was shaking until he started moving forward, until he started untangling himself from his blanket in favour of reaching out for Arin. He grabs hold of his arms as he moves in and he can hear Arin's breathing louder then his own in his ears and for a moment he panics but he doesn't stop himself as he pushes forward, eyes screwing shut as he forces his lips against the younger males. It's stiff and tense and they don't move at all as Danny's grip tightens on Arin's arms. It's the worse excuse of a kiss Danny has ever given, even his first kiss wasn't as horrible as this one. But all the same he's pulling away, cheeks flared red and body still shaking from the nervousness. He tries to move away but comes to realize he can't because Arin has a hold of his thighs.

"Wait. That can't seriously be it. C'mon Avidan, you know you can do better." Arin teases and if Danny had working sweat-glads they'd be on overdrive right now. He shies away and tries to move back again but Arin isn't letting go. Not that he really wants to move away, because he doesn't, he's just embarrassed beyond belief right now. When he fails to get away and provide an answer Arin shows some sympathy, moving closer and sitting Danny in his lap, running his hands softly down his sides. Danny makes a small noise in the back of his throat. "I'll lead then."

Danny swallows thickly as Arin grips softly at the back of Danny's hair and pulls him down to meet him. Arin's body is relaxed now and it helps Danny calm down enough that he doesn't pucker his lips too much this time and they can kiss properly. And it's perfect, soft and slow and proper, a kiss that counts. Danny's shoulders sag and he lets himself dissolve into Arin's warm embrace, tilting his head to recapture Arin's lips. And in that moment everything was fine and Danny wasn't worrying about anything.

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. Ta da? It was shit I know dammit I'm sorry TT_TT. This is almost done tho. Woo. Yay for completion of a fanfic for once


	9. - PART 9 -

Over the next week Danny doesn't really know what to do with himself. Arin stays at his and he continues to remember things to the point it's almost like nothing happened. They don't talk about that night and honestly going to bed had been awkward for Danny. They haven't kissed again, but Arin will cuddle into him more times then he won't, he makes a point to hold his hand at least once a day and always provides a kiss to Danny's cheek every morning. But Danny's still in limbo, doesn't know where that line is and if he's allowed to cross it if he hasn't already. He wants to talk about it, but at the same time he'd prefer if they didn't. He's worried what might come from that conversation. So he stays in limbo and just goes about the days like nothing happened and hopes maybe everything will sort itself out.

And it does, in a way. Danny wasn't aware what was happening until after the fact, but he never protested, why would he? It starts when instead of a kiss to the cheek, Arin grips the back of his neck and pulls him in for a deep kiss, his taste not as sweet as it had been the first time but still enough to have Danny's knees wobbling. And then every morning after is the same thing until Danny's the one starting the kisses. Arin makes a point of stealing kisses from him when the moments right. Danny doesn't know when or what Arin tells Suzy, but the next time Danny sees her she's saying that she's happy for them and glad that Danny makes Arin happy. And it's a sudden and crushing realisation that has Danny checking three times before he's confident that Arin isn't wearing his wedding ring anymore and it has him breaking down in distress and regret. Arin gets Suzy over and they assure him that it was discussed without a hitch and that no harm was done. It takes a while but Danny finally gets used to the idea. By then, Arin could lay out any fact about Dan without so much as a seconds pause.

"So... Does this make me... Am I your boyfriend now?" Danny asks one afternoon after they're done recording a few grump episodes. They'd started recording not long after their first kiss and things had just fallen back into place so easily since. Arin looks over to him from writing down the times of the last episode, his mouth full with half chewed nuts.

"Well I mean, I hope so?" Arin chuckles nervously like he hadn't thought Danny would even question it, like maybe he'd just except whatever was going on. He'd changed a lot in his life for this, he hoped he hadn't fucked up with his judgment. But this was serious and Danny was still confused about that stupid line.

"Well I mean we never really made it official so." He bows his head in slight shame. Should he really be questioning this? They've been in this thing for weeks now, long enough that Arin has started taking to sneaking into Dan's bed and sleeping with the smaller male in his arms after he's asked if it was okay. It's always okay.

"Well okay then. Daniel Avidaniel, will you be my boyfriend?" Arin places his pack of nuts aside and places his hand on Danny's thigh. Danny's stomach flips. They've been doing this for so long now but for some reason the idea of Arin actually wanting to be with him makes him nervous.

"You need to not call me that." Danny mumbles, bowing his head.

"I can't promise anything, but maybe I can substitute it for calling you 'boyfriend'."

"Please don't."

"But that's my right?" Arin asks and it's not hopefully but more knowingly, because he knows what Danny is going to say.

"Yes."

"There you go, you're my boyfriend. Feel better?"

And Danny would be lying if he said no but he says it anyway because he knows Arin knows he's lying and it earns him a body in his lap and a pair of lips against his. So it's a lie he can definitely live with.

(+ x)

"Next time on Game Grumps, Danny's gonna grow a pair suck my pair."

"Arin! Seriously." Danny covers his face with his hands as he makes a low sound of embarrassment. Arin laughs as he writes down the times.

"I was being serious." Arin states and he's not laughing anymore as he turns to look at Danny. Danny swallows thickly and he wants to say something smart back at Arin because he should, they're still recording but instead his eyes flicker to the paused game on the screen then back to his boyfriend. And his chest heaves with a tremble because they haven't yet but they've both been wanting too and they're _still recording_.

"Jesus, Arin... Really? Right now?"

"Fuck... yes." Arin drops the controller on the floor and throws his body over Danny's, pushing him back into the couch. "Sorry Kevin."

And the image of Kevin having to listen to this later because he has to edit this shit has Danny making an embarrassing, loud whine. He covers his mouth with his hand, cheeks flaring a dark pink because that's not a sound he ever wants to make again, that was _mortifying_. But Arin doesn't find that to be the case, and the sound has him rutting against Danny and groaning, leaning down to bite at the older males neck. Danny doesn't know what he should do, doesn't know where to put his hands and he's still questioning so much even though they're very clearly over that line at this point. Maybe it's all nerves, Arin makes him so nervous because he's never done this before and he just wants to get it right.

"E-easy yeah?" Danny's voice is nearly an octave higher and it wavers. Arin kisses up the side of his neck to his jaw before he looks up at him. He pauses for a moment, pressing a light kiss to the corner of Danny's mouth.

"You wanna go slow?"

"Well... I mean, I dunno."

"That's a yes." Arin sits back some and rearranges them so that Danny can sit back on the couch properly and he can sit himself on Danny's waist  .

"Well only if you want to." Danny grips firmly at Arin's hips, worried that he might put Arin off with how nervous he is. He shouldn't be, he's had sex more times then he cares to count. Sure it was never with another guy but sex was sex, it's like riding a bike really, you never truly forget how to do it. It can't be that different right?

"That wasn't the question."

"Are we really doing this?" Danny sighs, covering his face with his hands.

"What? Bickering like a married couple?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

"What are you nervous about, c'mon talk to me or this goes nowhere." And wouldn't that be a massive disappointment, though Danny was always good at disappointing people who he really didn't want to.

"I dunno, just the whole aspect of this I guess. Don't get me wrong, I want to, God I want to. I just..." Danny didn't know what he was worried about at all. Sex was sex, and he can say all he wants, but there's no excuse here.

"Did... do you wanna top?" Arin asks with a neutral face and of course, Danny should have known he'd be so calm about talking about this, should have known that he'd be blunt about it. They pause, the room silent and the air between them a little thick as Danny tries to get the colour in his cheeks to fuck off. Yeah, he could do that, there's gotta be a first time for everything.

"If you're okay with it." He almost knows exactly what Arin's going to say in response to that and it makes him wonder why he even opened his goddamned mouth. He watches as that stupid smirk wins over Arin's lips and he wants to tell him not to answer but instead he just rolls his eyes as the words poor out of Arin's mouth.

"Dude, you know I'm okay with it. You could've offered months ago and I would have said I'm good with it. I'd have bent over any-"

"Okay I get it. Jesus Christ Arin." Danny chuckles, covering his face with his hand as he shakes his head. He really should have known.

"At least you're not nervous anymore." Arin points out and Danny doesn't have a response to that, because it was true. "I'm sucking you off first though."

"Fuck, yeah okay."

"Do you think you could get it up again if I finished you like this first?" Arin's moving off his lap, taking Dan's pants off as he goes.

"What do I look like, fucking Superman?" Danny splutters. Maybe when he was younger he might have been that good but there's no way he could even try to pull a stunt like that off now. Who knows, the time in which he might have been able to he was probably too stoned in the first place.

"I just can't decided if I want your jizz down my throat or in my ass more." Arin grumbles like it was a normal dilemma, like he wasn't sure if he should get white bread or bloody wholemeal.

"Fuck." Danny groans, lifting his hips off the couch as Arin pulls his boxers half way down his thighs, freeing his half hard cock.

"Seriously? I'm not even trying." Arin chuckles with a smug smirk, spitting into his hand before he grasps Dan's cock and begins stroking it. Danny shudders, the muscles in his midriff tensing.

"I know, that's why it's so annoying." Danny tries not to focus on the stupid smile on Arin's face and more on the feeling of Arin's hand. He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the back of the couch as Arin kisses up the inside of his thigh.

"You love my annoying side." Arin mumbles, licking around the base of Danny's cock, the strokes of his hand slow and firm.

"That's your only side." Danny points out and Arin snorts, licking up the side of Danny's cock.

"Ouch, my feelings."

"You like my mean side." Danny counters, looking back down at Arin with a cocky smile. It ebbs away pretty quickly though as he watches Arin mouth along his cock, watches as Arin stops stroking him and holds his cock pointed upward, watches as Arin looks up to watch him as he starts to feed his cock into his mouth. His thighs tremble and he forces himself to actually swallow, least he choke on his own saliva as Arin chokes on his dick.

Arin watches him, his eyes tearing up as he forces his gag reflex to fuck off and works his throat to take in all of Danny's cock. And it's not an easy feat, Danny's not exactly small, and Arin's only done this once, a long fucking time ago, and no one needs to know that, and so by the time he's able to get his mouth around Danny's full length he's gagged more times then he'd like and he's got tears leaking down his cheeks. And it's slightly uncomfortable, but he's able to take a breath through his nose and pull back slightly before he goes at it again. His eyes squeeze shut as the head of Danny's cock brushes against the back of his throat and his body convulses and he has to pull off otherwise his gag reflex will win and that's something neither of them want. He coughs and looks back up to Danny as he wipes the spit from his chin and his cock twitches painfully in his pants at the sight of the Jew. He's gripping the couch tightly with one hand and the others lost in his hair and his whole body is shaking. Arin licks his lips, coughs to clear his throat and dives back in, taking in as much of Danny's cock as he can manage, his throat will be fucked if he tries taking him all again. Danny looks back down to Arin and bites into his lip until it splits to stop himself from bucking his hips up against Arin's face.

"Ar... Arin... Ar I, you gotta, just, fuck wait." Danny's mouth doesn't stop running and Arin can't understand a lot of what he's saying, but he gets the idea. He pulls back with a wet sound, suckling on the head of Danny's cock to clean up his saliva and the pre-come mix. Danny's body jolts as soon as Arin's mouth is clear of his cock, his will over his own body slipping.

"You alright?" Arin rasps, amusement in his tone. Danny whines, unable to keep the sound at bay. He looks back down to Arin and shivers, wrapping his hand around his cock and squeezing the base, his whole body tensing.

"Fuck, you got me close so fast. Shit." Danny chuckles, his head falling back against the couch. Arin smirks and pushes himself up on his knees, reaching up to grab hold of the front of Danny's shirt and pulling him down to meet him in a kiss.

"It's been a while hasn't it?"

"Been a while since someone took the whole thing. God Arin, warning next time okay?"

"To be honest I didn't think I could do it, but you gotta try right?" Arin smirks, kissing him again before he moves back down Danny's body. Danny swallows thickly again, removing his hand from around his cock as Arin kisses across his pubic bone and around the base again. He takes the head in his mouth again and suckles lightly, running his hand up and down the length, coating it in saliva before he pushes himself up from his place on the floor. He makes quick work of his pants and underwear, kicking them off his ankles before he straddles Danny's lap, leaning into him to kiss across his throat. He fumbles around in the couch cushions for a moment before he grabs hold of Danny's hand and slaps a tube of lube in his palm.

"Seriously Arin? In the fucking couch?" Danny stammers out a chuckle, trying not to grip the tube too tight so he doesn't accidentally make it explode.

"You never know when you're gonna need some okay? And it's been convenient for us today so stop complaining."

"Anything could have happened to this." Danny points out and Arin rolls his eyes, lifting his hips from Danny's.

"Who cares? Now do I have to work myself open or are you gonna do it?" Arin asks with that stupid smirk, resting his hands on Danny's shoulders as he holds himself up, looking down at the older male. Danny watches him for a moment before assessing the tube in his hand. "You don't have too."

"No, I can, I just, you might need to just guide me through this okay?" Danny pops open the cap and meets Arin's gaze.

"Sure. Just move slow, one finger at a time. I've done this before, well y'know, I've fingered myself before, I know what I can handle." Arin gives Danny a winning smile.

"...yeah, okay sure." Danny takes in a shaky breath and coats up his first two fingers with lube, closing the cap and dropping it to the side. Arin shifts himself a little so that he's close enough for Danny to get his arms around him. Danny's chest feels heavy and his hands shake. He cranes his neck back and grabs hold of the back of Arin's hair and pulls him in for a kiss as he presses his fingers to Arin's hole. He's nervous, movements cautious as he runs the two digits over Arin, listening to the sounds Arin gives to help ease his mind. He can do this.

Cautiously and slowly, slower than Arin had expected Dan works his middle finger past his tight ring of muscle. It takes Danny two whole minutes before he's at the last knuckle, his digit buried in Arin. He pulls back from the kiss, panting and shaking, and he shouldn't be so nervous, his cheeks shouldn't be flushed pink but he is and they are and anyone would think he was the one getting fingered.

"You good?" He asks in a small voice because he's embarrassed. Arin wants to get fucked, not spend hours on something he could accomplish in minutes. That thought has Danny shuddering and dick twitching. Maybe he should've let Arin do it, just to be able to see that sight.

"Yeah, 'm fine, but if you go any slower I will take over. C'mon dude it ain't that hard."

"Sorry I just..."

"I get it, just trust in me okay? You don't have to be nervous, give me what you've got, I'll let you know if you go too far don't you worry."

"I don't wanna hurt you."

"Dan seriously."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Danny huffs. He gives himself a moment to take a breath. Sex is sex, and this isn't any different than fingering a chick, he's just gotta spend more time on it. He averts his eyes from Arin for a moment and gets himself to relax. He starts pumping his finger, in and out, not rough but hard enough he thinks. He works it for a moment before he starts to curl the digit on the pull out and Arin responds, hips stuttering foreword and a keen escaping past his lips.

"Better?" Danny asks with a small smile as he speeds up his movements and manages to get another sound from Arin.

"Fuck yeah, just like that." He bites into his bottom lip, eyes squeezing shut as he tries to work himself back on Dan's finger, failing to find a pattern to work at. As soon as Danny finds it easier to move his finger he pulls out, pressing his two fingers tight together and presses foreword again. Arin's body tenses and his grip on Danny's shoulders tighten but beside a small whimper he doesn't say anything so Danny continues his movements.

"Try a different angle, like have your palm more- shit." Arin bites back a shout, Danny moving his hand like he knew how he wanted it. Yeah, sex really was just sex, he knew exactly where Arin wanted his fingers.

"Like this?" He smirks as he twists his fingers in the slightest, pushing them in as far as he can manage and fucks them into Arin's prostate.

"Fuck yes. And you were n-nervous about this. Look at you n-now." Arin pants, his body shaking and dick leaking. Danny shrugs and works his fingers against Arin's prostate, the younger males body jolting against his the whole time.

"Can you take another?" Danny asks and Arin's nodding before he's even finished his sentence, babbling that he wants it. Danny collects up the tube and pops the cap, coating up his three fingers. He works them easily into Arin's body, changing up his angles every now and then, making sure to come back to fucking them against Arin's prostate to get him squirming.

"Babe, you're g-gonna have to fuck me soon or you'll make me come like this." Arin shifts his legs so that there's more room between their bodies. He wraps his hand around his aching cock and idly strokes it.

"Seriously?"

"Well yeah, you've really never fingered yourself have you?"

"Arin you know I haven't."

"God after this you're gonna have too, I bet you could get yourself to come from it. Seriously though, I'm fucking close." Danny slips his fingers from Arin's body. He runs his hands up Arin's sides and leans up to kiss him again, rolling his hips up to try and get some friction between them, pulling Arin down against his hips. Arin fumbles around blindly for the lube again. He lifts his hips back up and pours some lube into his palm and slicks up Dan's cock, chucking the tube aside again.

"You ready?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Danny raises an eyebrow, grabbing hold of his cock and shifting Arin, holding him over his cock.

"Yeah but I'm not the nervous one here."

"You sure you've never done this before?" Danny asks, quirking an eyebrow.

"I wouldn't lie to you about this. In fact you'd probably be the first person to have found out."

"I guess that's a compliment. So, you ready?" Danny averts his eyes, looking where they're so close to joining. He takes a breath and holds it.

"Born ready, baby." Arin quips and maybe if Danny wasn't nervous he'd roll his eyes. Instead he focuses on watching as he lowers Arin onto his cock. Arin's thighs tremble in his hands and both of their breathing gets heavier as Arin seats himself on Dan's dick. And it's the tightest space Danny's ever been in and it's perfect, better than he could have ever imagined.

He tries to stop himself from thrusting up into Arin but he can't help that his hips jolt up into his boyfriend when he clenches, muscles tightening impossibly more than Danny thought they could. Arin groans at the feeling, his hands gripping at Danny's shoulders so tightly it almost hurts.

"Fuck, loosen your grip, lemme ride you." Arin hisses, his muscles tense with anticipation and quivering. Danny lets go, letting his hands just rest on Arin's hips, still watching where they're joined. Arin anchors his legs on the couch and keeps his hands on Danny's shoulders. He sucks in a breath and lifts his shaking body slowly before dropping back down with little force.

"Fuck Arin." Danny moans, his legs twitching violently as he forces them to stay still. Arin leans down and gives Danny a quick, rough kiss as he starts to ride him, using mostly his legs and not so much his arms to hoist himself up.

He gradually picks up his pace, dropping himself down on Dan's lap with enough force to rip sounds from himself and cause the force of their skin slapping together to create sound. Danny's muscles are still shaking and his breathing is uneven and heavy, his dick so hard that it almost hurts. He grabs at the bottom of Arin's shirt and tugs it up his body. Arin takes it from the half way point, pulling it off over his head in seconds. Danny's grabbing hold of his hips instantly and biting across his chest, fucking his hips up into Arin. Arin's skin is salty with sweat and easy to get between his teeth. Arin pushes his hair back from his face, pulling rough in the strands as he shifts his thighs tighter against Danny's.

"Fuck, harder. C'mon baby fuck me harder." Arin growls, grabbing hold of his cock, jacking himself off. Danny pulls back from his chest, ripping his own shirt off before he pushes his back against the couch for more leverage, grabbing hold of Arin's hips and holding him up with some space between them, his leaking cock still inches in Arin. Arin grabs the back of the couch with his free hand, his body heaving with every breath. Danny uses all the strength he can at the angle he's at to piston his hips up into Arin, his grip mainly to hold Arin above him. He jack-hammers into Arin, shifting himself enough for a new angle, just enough to hit where he wants to.

"Hard enough?" He pants, groaning in the back of his throat at the sound he rips from Arin as he assaults his prostate with almost every thrust into his tight body. And Arin can't respond, his words literately getting fucked out of him with the force of Danny's thrusts causing every other noise to fall from his mouth. Danny smirks as Arin grips his curls, pulling his head back slightly so that he can meet his lips in a sloppy kiss. Danny pauses in his movements for a beat, moving his hands to push into the couch. He's able to shift himself and get more thrust room and he uses his arms to help him piston his hips up.

"Dan, holy shit, fuck I'm close." Arin grips at Danny's hair harder, his fist working as fast as it can over his drooling cock and if Dan's thrusts weren't keeping his body elevated he'd have collapsed by now. Danny grabs hold of Arin again, wrapping his arms around his waist and turning them over, shoving Arin down against the couch. He keeps one foot on the ground while his other knee anchors into the couch as he holds Arin's thighs apart and slams into his body, ripping a cry from both of them from the sheer unexpected force.

"Oh fuck, D-Danny fucki-ing hell, Dan!" Arin grabs onto Dan's arm so hard his nails nearly split his skin, leaving crescent shapes in his arm that will surely bruise. His hand around his cock stops stroking and squeezes the base as he comes, a strenuous cry falling from his agape mouth, his voice cutting out during it. Danny manages to faulted the movements of his hips to a slower thrust as Arin rides it out, panting and chest now covered in his own come.

"Keep fucking me, fuck. Fucking fill me up." Arin pants, his body convulsing with wave after wave of muscle spasms.

"Fuck." Danny hisses, gripping Arin's thighs tight as he starts thrusting his hips again with as much force as he can as he starts to come undone, his body shaking as the _scream_ Arin produced plays a loop in his mind. "God Arin, fucking perfect. You're so perfect, fuck. I love you. Shit, I'm gonna come."

Danny's hips stutter but he doesn't stop and as Arin's body clenches as he sucks in a breath, Danny comes. And he's not quiet about it, crying out Arin's name as his body curls in around Arin's, his hips pushed flush against Arin's as he fills him up. His body shakes violently, his hips jolting painfully as he comes down from the high. He attempts to hold himself up off Arin so he doesn't crush him, but Arin's got one hand in his hair and the other pressed to the small of his back, holding him in place. They stay silent as their breathing evens out but even after they've calmed down, Arin doesn't let Danny pull away.

"C'mon dude, I'm lying in your fucking jizz here." Danny complains and Arin allows him a little room to lift himself up but he still can't go anywhere, he can't even pull out.

"Did you mean it?" Arin mumbles and there's a bit of nervousness in his tone.

"That I loved you?" Danny swallows and Arin nods. Danny bites his lip and looks away in embarrassment. He hadn't meant to say it, but it was true, no point in lying to Arin about it. "I did."

There's a pause, enough for the weight of it to set in before Arin's gripping lightly at Danny's hair and pulling him down for a soft kiss. "I love you too. Honestly didn't think I'd be saying that today."

"Sorry, I've been holding that one in for a while."

"I can imagine." They pause again and Danny has to shift his legs so that he isn't straining them. "Can we just stay like this for a moment?"

"The longer we let this sit the harder the clean up will be." Danny points out.

"I know, you can say no." Arin goes to shift, let's go of Danny to give him room to pull out. But he doesn't. He leans forward and presses another kiss to Arin's lips.

"A few minutes won't hurt." He gives Arin a small smile and cuddles into his body.

"Kevin's gonna love us." Arin mumbles and Danny lets out a groan, burying his face into Arin's stomach at the thought.

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to Starbomb while writing this and I just, Jesus it was weird, like they were judging me .–. But I honestly think this is the best smut I've written to date, I think. You guys are the judges not me


	10. - PART 10 -

_There's been an accident._

Four words that literally changed Danny's life forever. Whether it was for the better or not, he's still deciding. Sometimes it's hard to tell when the single most important person in your life is also the most annoying. But then again, Danny can't see it being any other way. He thinks about it a lot, not that he likes to, because thinking about it can make him feel like shit sometimes, but he does. If Arin hadn't lost his memories, hadn't forgotten who he was, they might not be here, probably wouldn't be where they are. Well that's not true because he's pretty sure they'd be on the grump couch playing episode 5370 of Mario Maker despite the fact, but that's not what he means. They probably would be here, but they wouldn't be cuddling together, nuzzling into each other and sharing kisses between episodes. No they'd just be recording with none of the good stuff if Arin hadn't been in that accident. That's not to say that if Danny could do it again he'd put Arin through that again, because that he couldn't do.

But it had its positives, which is always a good thing. Sometimes he feels like he created a wedge between Arin and Suzy because of his nature and the way he loved Arin so openly and intently. But Suzy will always be the first one to swoop in and tell him to stop thinking like that because she couldn't be happier for them. Arin will always come in next and kiss away any lingering doubt. It's funny to Danny, Arin has literately brought every great aspect into his life. The career he wants, with great friends, been able to help him out with his music and now this. Danny was just lucky, and Arin was all the luck any person could want.

(+ x)

"So, I've been thinking." Arin starts as he writes down the times for yet another episode. They've had a good run today and he feels that they'll breeze through plenty more before they need to take a break.

"No." Danny sighs with a slight chuckle and Arin turns to frown at him.

"Dude I haven't even said anything."

"Yeah but Kevin came up to me the other day and said he doesn't care if you're the boss he's gonna get everyone together and fire you if you fuck me on this couch one more time." Danny chuckles, smoothing his hair back and tying it into a poofy bun. Arin raises an eyebrow at him and smirks.

"Did he now? Interesting. Well I wasn't thinking about fucking you so I guess I get to keep my job a little longer. Though now you've mentioned it-"

"Arin please. As much as I love you and your dick I'm really not feeling it right now, I just wanna get these recordings done now, you know it's easier to keep the commentary going."

"I know, dude seriously you have no idea what I was even going to say. Will you give me a chance? Geez." Arin huffs but he's got a wide smile on his face so he's not peeved. Danny deflates and shuffles a little closer, leaning over to kiss the top of Arin's head.

"Sorry. You've been thinking?"

"Yeah so I've been thinking, about us."

"...yeah okay?"

"It's nothing bad, just been thinking about what forever with you would look like and I dunno it seems pretty good to be completely honest. I mean so long as you don't go off and decide to do your own thing cause that would suck." Arin snorts, shaking his head as he looks off into nothingness, mind running.

"Are you going somewhere with this?" Danny leans his head on Arin's shoulder.

"How's forever sound to you?"

"I dunno, you know commitment scares me dude."

"But it's me. You could totally marry me." Arin shrugs his shoulder and Danny's heart nearly stops beating. He just stares forward for a moment in stunned silence. "I mean if you will marry me."

"Arin, are you being serious right now?" Danny sits himself up and stares Arin down with wide eyes.

"Yes?" Danny's mind spins. This is insane, but it's amazing. Though he'd have done it differently but seriously he couldn't imagine Arin doing anything different.

"Holy shit. Of course I will! I mean I thought maybe it'd be too early but, whatever man."

"Wait what? Dude what're..." They both pause. "Dan I don't mean, I mean, I wasn't proposing."

"You... But you said if I will marry you!" Danny's freaking out, doesn't have a clue as to what's going on.

"Yeah like if we ever decided that was a thing we were gonna do, I don't mean right now."

"I..." He stops himself.

"D'you... Danny? You'd say yes if I was asking?" Arin asks and Danny doesn't know what to say.

"I mean, I don't know Arin! Stop doing this shit to me!" Danny cries in distress, his heart still pounding out of control.

"I'm sorry. But I gotta know, would you marry me?"

"Arin I'm not answering."

"Please?"

"If you can get a ring I'll give you the answer okay? Make it official or I'm not saying shit." Danny turns away from Arin, face burning red.

"You totally would! You'd marry me? Holy shit." It only just starts to sink in, what this means. Arin could get down on one knee and ask Danny 'Sexbang' Avidan to marry him and Danny would say _yes_. Danny would be his, _forever_.

"No, screw you Arin." Danny scrambles off the couch and hurriedly tries to make his way across the room and out the door. He can't do this, he messed up so bad and he just needed to drown in his embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that!" Arin tries but he's so close to laughing at Danny's reaction, even though at the same time he's just fallen even more in love with the fool.

"Enjoy your grump session, Big Cat." Danny escapes, mainly intact beside the bruised ego. He can't believe he embarrassed himself like that. Of course he'd say yes if Arin asked him to marry him, why wouldn't he?

Arin stares at the door with confused eyes. He knows Danny will be back and they'll talk it out and then they'll brush it off and go back to recording and everything will be normal again. But he also knows that he won't be able to get the idea of Danny in a tux, taking his last name as his own out of his head for days to come. And in that moment Arin knew that he really did want a forever with Dan, no matter what it held.

(+ x)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finito! This fic did not end up how I originally planned but I'm happy with it. I hope you guys enjoyed this and I'll see you in the next one I guess :3


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